Mixed Grill Favorites

Don't Forget ...

2010-09-15T19:17:00.001-07:00

... I have a new blog! Head over and see what's happening now.

Another Set Back ...

2010-07-13T15:30:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to update everyone! I know I had said that I would start interviewing in July and posting in August, but that just hasn't worked out. So many people that I want to interview are traveling (or otherwise busy) right now. And, to be honest, I'm having trouble getting motivated. Dealing with my mother's passing has been harder in some ways than I imagined it would be.

So, I hope to interview in August and start posting in September. Thanks so much for your patience and your continued support. I'll be back!

Big News For My Blog!

2010-07-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up to let you know that I'm getting a new website! My friend, Candy, is designing a more comprehensive web space for Mixed Grill Favorites. I have decided not to migrate this blog to the new space. Instead, I will just transfer it to a blogspot address and leave it here for posterity. I thought about taking it down completely, but there were a few posts that I didn't want to let go of. Besides, I may be starting a new chapter in my blog-life, but I can't forget my past!

I just set up wordpress. Super easy, with the help of tech support. It will provide the underlying structure of my new site. I'm really excited. I think you're going to like it.

If you following me here, I hope you will be kind enough to follow me to my new site. It will be not only more comprehensive, but better organized. I'll also be posting more often, too. Since I knew this was coming, I confess that I've been kind of lax in posting.

See ya at the new site!

July Goals Meetup!

2010-07-02T00:32:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to do in the next few months so I've decided to join the Goals Meetup to help keep me on track. Whenever I need to get a lot done in a short time, I make a detailed list, so the Meetup is a perfect fit for me.

You may notice that my list is very specific, with some projects broken down into steps. I know that isn't necessary for most people, but it really helps keep me focused and it helps me to plan my time more effectively. Besides, I really like crossing things off my list! It helps me feel accomplished and keep me feeling motivated!

Many thanks to Candy for introducing me to the Meetup. I've always been inspired by her lists and accomplishments. And thanks to Athena Dreams for putting this together each month.

I've got a lot to do this month (my personal to do list is even longer!), so I had better get to it. Wish me luck!

Order inspiration cards
~~Research snap setter~~
~~Order snap setter~~
~~Order chalks for clipboard~~
Stamp images for clipboard
Finish attaching base to canvas on bracelets
Finish one bracelet
Pictures for AFAC application
Re-assemble Inspiration piece
~~Design AFAC booth~~
Respond to AFAC invite
Color images for clipboard
Pellon on base back (bracelets)
Complete four collages
~~Sew book signatures~~
Design business cards
Conduct three - four podcast interviews
Finish art journal
Edit two - three podcasts
Assembled decorated clipboard
Apply for sales tax number

100 Day Reality Challenge

2010-06-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Because how we spend out days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

That quote is a favorite of mine, but it often leaves me with an emotional OUCH! I need to make some changes.

In some ways, I'm extremely happy with my life, but in other ways, I'm a bit dissatisfied. On a day-to-day basis, my life is pretty good, but when I look at the big picture, I see that I'm not accomplishing much.

I do not want to get to the end of my life and find that I've wasted it by living comfortable and easy. I want excitement. I want to feel as though I'm living my life on purpose.

So, I have decided to join the 100 Day Reality Challenge. For 100 days, beginning today, I will consciously work toward creating the life of my dreams. I'm hoping to accomplish more, develop some new habits, and work through some of my resistance. I have some pretty ambitious goals and intentions, but I think I will see some good movement in my life. I've done the Challenge twice beofre and had some good temporary results; I'm hoping to create more permanent change in my life wiht this Challenge.

I'll occasionally post my thoughts and results, but the bulk of my posting will be on the Challenge Ning site. If you need to get a jump on creating the liffe of your dreams, you might consider creating a challenge of your own. You can start your 100 days any time!

Thanks!

2010-06-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone for the comments, the emails, the kind words, supportive thoughts and prayers. I appreciate them all. We've been home about a week, and I'm slowly regaining my footing. My sleep patterns are a little bit messed up, but that's not really surprising; my sleep patterns are very sensitive to stress.

One of the things that I brought home was my mother's crystal. She gave it to me a few years ago, but since I always flew back-and-forth there was no good way to get it to me. We flew to Arkansas, but I inherited my mother's car, so we drove back. That allowed me to bring home the crystal, some of my childhood books, my mother's sewing machine, and a few other things. I just started unpacking the crystal today. I don't have any memories of my parents using it, so unpacking isn't as difficult as baking a new cake recipe was a few nights ago.

My mother loved to cook, and loved for me to cook, too. We'd talk about any new recipes that I tried, and I often called her while I was cooking to ask a technique question. I even called her with questions that I could easily figure out the answer to, just to involve her in the process. She was always eager to hear about the taste test! Tuesday night, I made a new chocolate cake recipe. Then I made Cherokee Fry Bread. Then I made egg salad, a staple around our house. One reason I kept on cooking, one thing after another, was that I was on the verge of becoming overwhelmed with grief. When making the cake, I had a question that I would have loved to have asked my mother, but she wasn't there to call. It was a very sad moment for me, and I wasn't really prepared for it, so I just hauled out more ingredients and made something else! By the time I finished cooking and cleaning the kitchen, the intensity of the grief had lessened and I could better deal with it; if it hadn't, I'd probably still be in the kitchen, stirring up something!

I mentioned that I don't have any memories of my parents actually using the crystal. My dad bought it in the early 70s while he was in the Navy. For years, it sat on shelves in the closet. Many of the glasses still had the labels on them. John and I have decided that we will not just use them for "good" but we don't know when we will use them! There are Zombie glasses and martini glasses, champaign glasses and flutes, old fashioned glasses, cordial glasses and liquor glasses. There are brandy snifters and shot glasses. There are some glasses that I can't yet identify. I guess we'll have to start drinking more! LOL!

Thanks again for everyone's kind words and thoughts.

Sad News

2010-06-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter probably already know this, but I wanted to let the others know that my mother made her transition into the non-physical on Sunday afternoon. I so appreciate all the support, loving thoughts and prayers that have been sent on behalf of my mother and my family. I am so touched that people I don't know or haven't seen in years care that much. Thank you.

Because the next couple of weeks will be so hectic for me, I have decided to postpone the Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast for awhile. I will spend July recording and will post the next interview in August.

Thanks again for everyone's concern and affection during this time. I'll see you in a couple of weeks!

Revisiting Past Work -- Thoughts On My Process

2010-06-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked to post a little bit about my process. I love this piece, even though it didn't get juried into the recent Multi-Media Mini Show, so I thought I'd talk a little bit about it.

This is basically four dress forms, painted and collaged, then sewn around. The dress forms are a mixture of vellum and transparencies. The stitching is strictly decorative; it doesn't do anything to hold the piece together. At each corner of each dress form, I used my crop-o-dile (love that tool!) to first punch holes, then set eyelets. I then used small nails to attach the forms to the blue background.

The blue background is simply plywood, cut to size on my recently acquired table saw. The the front is covered in GAC-100 and sandable gesso (both Golden's products). The blue is not paint, but Portfolio brand water-soluble oil pastels, put on pretty heavily and then smoothed out with a wet paintbrush. Once it was dry, the blue background was covered with Polymer Medium (Gloss). That background is glued to the larger black background, that was treated in the same manner.

I loved making this piece, because it was pretty different from what I usually do. I don't usually work on wood, but I really enjoyed the challenge of approaching a new substrate. I plan to do more pieces like this!

8 Minute Cake -- YUMMY!

2010-06-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

This is the humble beginnings of the totally delicious 8 Minute Cake. It's basically a standard cake mix, made according to package directions with a can of frosting dumped in the middle. Microwave for 8 minutes and you've got something amazing!

Mine was a little jiggly when I took it out of the oven, but it continued to cook for a few minutes. When you turn it out onto a sheet cake pan (or some other kind of pan), you have yummy, runny goodness. We used Butter Recipe Chocolate Cake and Cream Cheese Frosting. It kind of tasted like an Oreo!

For the complete, detailed, recipe -- visit The Funambulist Damsel. She includes lots of pictures and step-by-step directions.

Goals Meetup???

2010-06-01T17:33:00.000-07:00

Each month, I read Candy Glendening's post about what she's accomplished art/business wise the month before, and what she hopes to accomplish for the current month. She is one busy lady! I admire, so much, what she is able to accomplish. I know, from personal experience, that the act of making a list can be sooo helpful. Whenever I have something I need to do -- Thanksgiving, company coming, etc. -- I make a list. A really detailed list. And it never fails to get me through what I'm facing.

So, I got to thinking ... I have some art goals that I periodically throw around to whoever is listening, but I rarely make an actual to-do list or give the goals time limits. And I rarely stay on track. Coincidence? I think not! I'm not ready, goal wise, to join the Goal Meetup that Candy participates in every month. Not today, anyway. I don't want to make some half-baked list just to be making one and then not have the feeling of accomplishment that comes from marking things off! Instead, I think I will spend the next few days pondering my immediate and longer term goals are, artwise, and what it will take from me to accomplish those goals.

July 1 starts the second half of the year, so it seems like a good time to join the Goals Meetup! I think I want to participate in Art on State Street this year, and that will require some planning and commitments on my part to have enough inventory to make it worthwhile. I'll need to plan a booth and display, price my items, get new business cards -- not to mention, MAKE ART!

What do you need to get done this month???

Paper, paper, paper! Oh my!

2010-05-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

Thursday, I made a whorl wind trip to Redlands to see Sex in the City 2. While I was in town, I stopped by Redlands Blueprint and bought some scrumptious handmade papers -- 14 pieces! I was a bit disappointed not to find any patterns (I was especially wanting some polka dots.), but I found plenty to buy as it is. I'm hoping to use them in collages that I am making for an art festival this fall. Most of these are mulberry type papers. The light blue and pink sheets in the second photo are so sheer and soft; they are almost like interfacing. I can't wait to see how these enhance my collages! I've got them all cut up into large pieces and in a 2-gallon storage bag, because I don't have any place to store flat sheets.

Because I couldn't find any patterned papers, I decided to make my own. So, I stopped at Smart and Final today and bought a package of deli wrap. I'm going to paint it and stamp on the background to create my own custom papers. I learned this technique in a class that I took from Kristy Christopherson at the Redlands Art Association. Because deli wrap is so thin and translucent, I'm expecting my final papers to melt into my work.

These are pieces of deli wrap with the first coat of paint. I used Golden Fluid Acrylics, Stewart Gill paints, and some paint leftover from the days when I demo'd for the now defunct Home Studio International (some products are still available from their parent company, US ART Quest.). As much as I generally love my Golden's, I have to say that the Stewart Gill paints performed the best on the deli wrap. It seemed to have a longer open time than the other two, and it went on more smoothly. With the Golden's and the HSI paint, I had to use copious amounts of Acrylic Glazing Liquid, but with the Stewart Gill, I didn't have to use ANY! I was amazed. I live in the Mojave Desert and as you might expect, the humidity is very low here, meaning that paint dries very quickly. Even without air conditioning or ceiling fans, straight paint often dries as soon as it hits the paper; blending is very difficult without the use of AGL.

Here's a little something I whipped up a few days ago. I love the concept -- and the background! If I were doing it over, I'd move the "reate" a little closer to the "C" and maybe glaze the "C" with the same Burnt Sienna that I used in the lower right hand corner. Whatever -- I had fun making it and I learned a couple of things to boot! All is well ...

I'm Home!

2010-05-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

First of all, thanks so much for all of your concern, support, and prayers on behalf of my mom and our family. They are all appreciated! Mother has been moved to a long-term acute care facility in my sister's city so that she can continue to get the medical care that she needs without being alone. It's been a bit of a roller coaster ride for all of us, but I think they've settled into some kind of routine (my sister and my mom, with the help of one of mom's cousins and my sister's family), and I've been able to return home. I'll probably go back there during the summer to see Mom and give my sister a break. The doctors say Mom can recover from all she's been through, but we have no idea how long it will take or what it will look like.

I've been home almost two weeks. Sorry I'm just now posting, but it's taken me this long to recover from the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion and get my balance back. I'm just now settling back into some kind of routine. In fact, I'm spending a little time in my studio being creative tonight, for the first time in weeks! Oh, I've been in the studio, looking around or playing on the computer, but tonight was the first time I really even wanted to be creative! I've even dreamed -- literally! -- about making art, but just haven't found the energy to do it.

I went to Michael's and JoAnn this afternoon and bought a few new supplies, so I've got a little inspiration! I've got Pandora Radio playing in the background, a fountain drink on my desk and some chocolate. I'm ready to rock-n-roll! I've glued some background paper down and I'm letting it dry. I don't know if I'll start painting tonight, or wait until tomorrow, but at least I've made a start!

I've decided to start the Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast back up in July. I'll record and edit during June, and start broadcasting again on Wednesday, 07 July, 2010. Let me know if there is anyone in particular you'd like me to interview and I'll be happy to approach them! Also, if you have any questions you'd like me to ask my guests, just leave a comment or email me and I'll be happy to work your question in to the next interview -- and give you credit, with a link back to your blog!

Thanks again for all your support. I'm eager get on with things!

Out Of Touch

2010-04-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be MIA for awhile. My mother had a major heart attack and bypass surgery. She also has an aortic aneurysm that needs to be dealt with in about 30 days. I'm in Arkansas for the time being and I don't have reliable internet access. I'll post when I can.

New Podcast Up!

2010-04-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you know that my exciting interview with Carmen Torbus is posted and ready to download or listen to. I had a great time talking to Carmen -- she's so enthusiastic and passionate about what she does.

I know I've been MIA for awhile -- Hubby and I have both had bad colds and some stuff going on in our personal lives that has kept me away from my blog. I'm getting over my cold now, so I'll be back soon. Thanks for hanging in there!

New Podcast Is Up!

2010-03-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

This week's interview is with Belinda Spiwak. Be sure to listen as she talks about balancing creativity with a busy lifestyle.

I forgot to announce last week's interview -- it was with Canadian artist and workshop leader, Andrea Schroeder. She had some interesting things to say about creativity and spirituality.

Humbling Expereince

2010-03-12T22:45:00.000-08:00

Today, I saw my two pieces on the wall in the Redlands Art Association's Multi-Media Mini Show. It is a juried show. Out of almost 350 entries, about 100 pieces were selected to be a part of this exhibition. When I saw my work hanging with so many fabulous works of art, I was actually choked up. It was an amazing moment -- seeing my art on the wall, receiving the congratulations of my friends and fellow artists.

I just want to say "thank you" to everyone who has encouraged me and supported me on my artistic journey. I still have a long way to go, but I'm so pleased with the growth I've experienced over the past year. And it wouldn't have been possible without my friends and supporters. Thanks so very much!

Mini-Show News!

2010-03-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

I just got my mail a few minutes ago, when my husband got home from work. In it, were the results of the Mini-Show Juror Day. I'm pleased to announced that TWO of my pieces made it into the show -- Emerge and New Eyes.

If you live in the Redlands area, please stop by the Redlands Art Association sometime after Friday to see my work on display. The exhibit runs through April 8. The RAA Gallery is located at 215 East State Street, downtown. The phone number is 909-792-8435. Hours are Monday through Saturday, 10am to 5pm.

Mini-Show Submissions

2010-03-06T23:34:00.000-08:00

I've been busy getting ready for the Redlands Art Association's 41st Annual Multi Media Mini Show. Take-in is tomorrow. I'll be going in the afternoon, dropping off my work, having lunch with a friend and then gaming and dinner with another friend. It should be a good day.

This show is a juried show, and the judge is a photographer, so I have no idea what kind of art she'll like. Some artists really like mixed-media collage, and some just don't get it. No telling which way she'll lean. And then, there's always the possibility that she'll like mixed-media work, but she won't like mine! Whatever! Art is so subjective; there's no way to predict what piece of work is going to resonate with another person. After all, there's plenty of "good art" that I don't particularly care for!

We are allowed to enter up to three pieces in the show. I'm going for all three to maximize my chances. Wish me luck!

These last two pictures are a little dark because I took them at 11:15 at night in lousy lighting, but I think you get the concept.

Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast -- Kristy Christopherson

2010-03-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let you know that my recent interview with Kristy Christopherson is up on the Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast blog, along with the show notes for this week's episode. I hope you enjoy listening! It was a pleasure to do my first interview with such a good friend and talented artist.

Crescendoh is Live!

2010-03-01T22:12:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let you know that Jenny Doh's latest project is LIVE! It's a great website. I'm looking forward to watching it grow.

Podcast Published!

2010-02-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

The introductory episode of the Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast has just been published! Check out the show blog to listen and comment!

Thanks!

New Art

2010-02-23T06:45:00.000-08:00

I didn't sleep well last night (okay, I didn't sleep at all!) so I spent my time listening to loud music, finishing up a couple of paintings, and writing. It was time well spent.

I started this piece over the week-end, while painting with my friend, Sandra. She took this picture while I was working. It's better than the picture I took this morning.

I also started this piece over the week-end, and finished it in the middle of the night. I used Speedball Block Printing Ink for the word, and it worked amazingly well. I think I have a new favorite product! Next art supply order will definitely include some other colors.

And here's a piece I started last Monday at my painting group. It doesn't feel finished, but I'm not sure what to do to it next. I'm sure it will come to me as I continue to sit with it. It's not really this shiny.

I haven't forgotten about the color wheel art journal quilt I started a couple of weeks ago, I've just set it aside. The 41st annual Multi Media Mini Show is coming up soon at the Redlands Art Association Gallery and I've been working on/planning pieces for it. Its'a juried show, so there's no guarantee that what I enter will be accepted.

Yesterday, I started something completely out of my current skill set, which is always fun. I'm kind of stuck until I get to Home Depot and get some wood panel to work on -- and the necessary prep materials from Dick Blick. The wood panel may become a reality today (Actually, I'll need my father-in-law's help getting the panel cut to the right size. That will happen on Thursday.), but the prep materials won't be here for a couple of days. I need some vellum, too, which I'll get on Thursday from Collective Journey as there isn't a scrapbook supply store in Victorville or Barstow that I know of. Then, I need to go to Office Depot or some place that I can make photocopies on my own paper.

Curious? Stay tuned!

Becoming An Artist

2010-02-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

I haven’t always been the artist that I am today – not that I’m that great or confident as an artist now!

Like most kids, I grew up with crayons in one hand and a coloring book in the other. My mother has often said that I would draw and color on anything that didn’t wiggle away from me. In fact, for several years she had a painting hanging behind the couch that had several blue crayon marks mimicking the movement of the river. Evidently, I was interested in making art even then!

Even so, there was something standing between me and my destiny to create… my other brother!

Richard had an artistic talent that was absolutely amazing. He could draw anything with an exactness that was enviable. Compared to him, I had no talent or natural inclination. As you might expect, he got most (all) of the attention and nurturance in this area. He was even given private art lessons until he reached the age that art wasn’t “cool” anymore. My native abilities – whatever they might have been – were not particularly encouraged. No one discouraged me or told me that my art was sub par, but no one specifically encouraged me to draw or paint either.

Somehow, my little child-self interpreted the lack of affirmation as a statement about my lack of talent. By the time I was in the fourth grade – how old was I? Nine? Ten? – I was already self-conscious about art. By the time I was 14, I tearfully begged my way out of art class completely.

I was eventually encouraged to find a craft that suited me, however; I think that saved me, creatively. I can remember being in my 20s and going to the local craft store with my mother each Saturday, when the store gave free demonstrations to encouraged their customers to try new things. I tried my hand at sculpting friendly plastic lapel pins and decorating wicker baskets with cut-out fabric flowers. I covered my own window shades and stenciled flowers in my bedroom. I tried my hand at bead embroidery and I learned to crochet, cross-stitch, and tie near-perfect Colonial knots for candlewicking.

My mother and the craft store employees weren’t the only ones encouraging me. When I wanted shelves in my bedroom closet, my dad taught me how to use his table saw and helped me design exactly what suited me. He trusted me with his power tools, giving me confidence to work with my hands.

All of that encouragement to my creativity helped me eventually find my way back to art. When the time came that I needed a visual way of expressing myself – I’ve written all my life – I started out making, then designing, jewelry. From there, I dabbled in textile work. I eventually combined fabric with paper and then paper with paint.

I’d like to say that I’ve come full circle, but I’m still intimidated by a pencil and a blank piece of paper. I’ve made a couple of decent drawings over the years – good enough to keep encouraging me – but I simply don’t enjoy the process. I have to wonder, though, how much of it is truly a lack of enjoyment and how much of it is my long-seated lack of confidence?

It took a long time – and a lot of encouragement from people I respected – before I could call myself an artist, but now I do. I make art regularly. I’ve learned that what makes me an artist is not the quality of my creations, but rather my need to create. I’m very processed oriented, and not surprisingly, a Jill-of-all-trades.

And my brother? He’s a boilermaker who does contract work with oil refineries. I’m not even sure if he doodles while he’s on the phone …

Big Announcement!

2010-02-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

I know I've been teasing you with posts, tweets, and Facebook updates about a big announcement coming to my blog. The time has finally come!

Beginning Wednesday, 24 February, I will be hosting the Mixed Grill Favorites Podcast! Each week I will talk with a different creative person in hopes of learning more about their art, their processes, and their creative lifestyle. The first interview episode -- with Kristy Christopherson -- will be posted on Wednesday, 03 March.

Other upcoming guests include Belinda Spiwak, Andrea Schroeder, Carmen Torbus and Richard Freund. I'm so excited that these amazing artists have agreed to be a part of my new venture!

The podcast will have its own website, but show notes will also be posted on this blog. There will even be a listener comment line! You will be welcome to call in with your comments, questions, suggestions and ideas. The phone number is 214-615-6505 ext 4283.

My Word For 2010

2010-02-12T17:03:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I discovered blogger Christine Kane. She was writing about a different way to approach the New Year and all the destined-to-be-broken resolutions that often accompany it. I haven’t made resolutions in years – maybe decades! – but I can’t help but look at a birthday as a time to start new things, to reevaluate my goals and desires, and to contemplate those things I’d like to change.

The first year that I read Christine’s essay, I chose a word – GRATITUDE. Last year, I didn’t even think of the process, although I like the idea. This year, I ran across Christine’s blog again and have been thinking about my word for 2010 for several weeks now.

The first word that came to mind was EMERGE, inspired by an essay by Karen Wallace, who actually chose it as her word for 2009. EMERGE felt good and right as I sat with it. This coming year, I hope to more fully EMERGE into my own life and out of the shadows I’ve been living in for so long. I have big plans for expressing myself more vividly in my life.

I don’t want to change so much as I want to be fully present in my life. For the most part, I’m pretty happy with my life and who I am. I have a great marriage, a good family, some really wonderful friends – and of course, The Kitties Two, who bring so much joy into my life.

Although I briefly considered other words (THRIVE and AUTHENTICITY) I am most comfortable with the idea that what I want is to EMERGE. I sometimes feel as though it's all right there, just waiting for me to show up.

This year, I will.

What’s your word for 2010?

Happy Birthday To Me!

2010-02-11T23:48:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my hubby, two of my best girl friends (Tammy and Sandra -- neither of who have a web presence), and bunches of Facebook friends, I had a really great birthday today. There was lots of laughter and love in the air today; those days are always my favorites! I got a few really cool prezzies, too!

Since my birthday comes so soon after the holidays, it always seems like New Years to me. This is the time that I take stock and make plans. This is when I look back over what I've accomplished in the past year and set goals for the upcoming one.

Instead of making resolutions, a lot of people choose a word for the year. I did that a couple of years ago, and it felt much better than making a list of things to accomplish -- goals that I never manage to realize. I've chosen my word for 2010; I'll share it with you tomorrow!

Big Announcement Coming Soon!

2010-02-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

I hinted in an earlier post that I had a project in the works that would impact Mixed Grill Favorites. I'm still not ready to talk about the details, but I will be making an official announcement about this mystery project on Monday, 15 February, 2010 -- less than a week away! Come back then to get the scoop!

Project Continued

2010-02-06T15:08:00.000-08:00

I got my watercolors in the mail yesterday! I hurried home and spread out all my supplies on my desk, then choked! As I mentioned in my last post, I'm not really all that familiar with watercolors, so I froze when it came time to get started. It took me several minutes before I found the nerve to start.Oh, I knew that you take the paint and add water to make juicy color, but when it came to mixing colors, I had no idea what colors were good for that (I know from working with acrylic paints that not all reds, for example, mix the same) -- or even how to begin mixing. Well, I still don't know much about working with watercolors, but I know a little more now. I think I'll be able to approach my new paints with a tad less fear, a bit more confidence.

I do have to confess, though -- I didn't mix all the colors. I did use a few out of the tube, because I just couldn't get the color I was looking for!

Here are the color swatches I've made so far. I still have a few more to make, then it's off to the next step -- journaling on the swatches. That may take a few days, because I'm not thrilled with my own handwriting. I know I'll put this step off!

New Project!

2010-02-05T01:29:00.000-08:00

I've been reading the magazine Cloth Paper Scissors since it first came out, however many years ago. I've learned a lot and been inspired more times than I can count. The January/February issue is just as exciting as past issues have been. In fact, just a few nights ago I had trouble falling asleep because my mind was so busy with possibilities! I should have gotten up and gone to the studio, as many of my night thoughts were lost with the dawning of a new day.

One of the most exciting projects was Diana Trout's article about making a mixed-media "color wheel journal quilt". The idea is to paint rectangles with colors that correspond to those on a color wheel. Add some journaling and some other painted squares to coordinate with the background swatches, then sew it all together. Simple and delightful to look at. It's featured on the cover of the magazine; here's a peak at it.

So, I bought a big sheet of watercolor paper a couple of days ago and ordered some inexpensive watercolors off of eBay (I have some watercolors, but it seems I don't have good mixing colors). Today, I cut the paper into 4" x 6" rectangles. That's all I can do until I get my paints. They should be here Saturday or Monday, I believe. I don't normally paint with watercolors, so this will be an interesting project for me, process wise.

I'll let you know how it progresses. Wish me luck!

Apologies ...

2010-01-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

I owe you an apology ...

I have a few followers, a few more loyal readers, and the occasional random visitor. I appreciate all of you, and yet, I don't treat you with the respect that you deserve. I don't blog on a regular basis, and recently, I haven't even been very good at acknowledging comments the way I should.

First of all, I want to let you all know that I really appreciate all of you who read/commented on my post about B'Orange. Your companionship and compassion are comforting.

Secondly, thanks for hanging in there with me through my hit-and-miss blogging. You'll be happy to know that I've been taking stock and have recommitted myself to my blog. I recently purchased Tara Gentile's (of scoutie girl) ebook "52 Weeks of Blogging Your Passion" -- a book dedicated to helping creative bloggers stay on point with their blogs. I'll be working through it over the upcoming year, so I expect that this blog will grow into a regular source of information about me, my art, my process and my life.

One of the first exercises Tara has us do is create a mission statement for our blog and share it with our readers. I hesitated on this exercise at first, not sure that I wanted to be that formal. Then, I decided that I'd wasted my money on the book if I wasn't going to do even the first exercise! So, after much thought and editing, here's my mission statement for Mixed Grill Favorites:

Mixed Grill Favorites is devoted to sharing my journey as I continuely grow, evolve, and mature as an artist and writer. Sharing my creative processes so that others can gain greater understanding of my art and writing, and of their own creativity, brings me joy. My website is a way to connect with other artists and writers -- and lovers of art and the written word -- so that I can find inspiration and share it with others!

Lastly, I'm working on some other creative projects that will support this blog. I'm working on a comprehensive website to house my blog and showcase my art. That should be ready by late spring. I have another project that I'm very excited about -- but not ready to share details about! It should be ready by mid-March. I'll write more about it as the time for its unveiling approaches. I think you'll be as excited as I am!

Thanks again for hanging in there! You are appreciated!

I WON! -- Again!

2010-01-20T23:30:00.000-08:00

Earlier this evening, I got an email from Lisa at Happy Place Creations telling me that I won the giveaway for the Amish fiction book The Choice by Suzanne Woods Fisher. This is the second giveaway I've won in recent weeks!

Happy!

Book Giveaway!

2010-01-18T22:13:00.001-08:00

Happy Place Creations is giving away a copy of the new book, The Choice by Suzanne Woods Fisher. It has absolutely nothing to do with art, but it does highlight another interest in mine, the Amish religion/lifestyle. I've been fascinated with the Amish since I was a child and we used to pass Amish buggies on the highway on our way to Springfield, MO. Reading a Nancy Drew mystery (The Witch Tree Symbol) at about the same age that took place in Pennsylvania and featured the Amish was just fuel for my fire.

I don't read much fiction these days, but I'll sure be checking this one out. Maybe you will too ...

Bjorn B’Orange … 01 April, 2003 – 14 January, 2010 … Rest In Peace

2010-01-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

B'Orange, taken in September.

A few weeks ago as John and I were driving down The Cajon Pass on our way to visit his parents, I had the most amazing experience. We were riding each with our hand on the other’s leg. I looked to the right, out the car window, and saw the sun shining brilliantly on the snow covered mountains in the distance. In front of the mountains were the deep green foothills. The sky was bright and clear. In that transcendental moment, I realized that while there were many things I wanted, I had everything I needed. An overwhelming feeling of contentment washed over me as I thought, “This is it. This moment is my life” and I was appreciative of all that I had.

What I had in that moment was an adoring (and adorable) husband, people I love who love me, gorgeous scenery, and, although they were not physically with me, what John and I affectionately refer to as The Kitties Three – Frankie, B’Orange, and Nana – the almost celestial beings that help make our happy marriage into a happy family.

Today, at about 10:00 AM, after B’Orange’s short – but brave – fight with full renal failure, The Kitties Three became The Kitties Two. A few hours earlier, we had made the difficult decision to have him put to sleep so that he would suffer no more.

B’Orange was born, appropriately, on April Fool’s Day in (I think) 2003, the same year Frankie came to live with us. Born in John’s closet, he was one of four kittens. None of his littermates made it to adulthood. In fact, I don’t think any of them even made it to adolescence. We think their mother was a carrier for Feline Leukemia, and that she passed it on to all but B’Orange, so he was our miracle-baby.

He was a kitten like any other kitten – into everything. As he matured, he didn’t grow much. At his heaviest, he weighed about eight pounds. A tiny thing, really, by cat standards. Both Nana (who is two or three years younger than him) and Frankie are much bigger than he was. But what he lacked in body mass, he made up for in personality. All of our cats have had distinct personalities, but B’Orange was something special. His expressive little face and eyes always let you know what he was thinking. He had his own likes and dislikes, his own preferences. He didn’t, for example, like to be pointed at.

He loved John and I in a way that most cats don’t seem to love their people; he was almost dog-like in his affection. While Frankie and Nana are very independent and do what they like, B’Orange would actually come when called most of the time (we even nicknamed him “B-Dog” because of his canine-like characteristics). Hell, he wasn’t usually very far away from us. When we lived in our apartment, he was content to curl up on the computer monitor while John and I sat at our desks. He would curl up on my chest when we were watching TV or a DVD. He even went through a spell of running to the couch when he heard the whirr of the DVD player. He slept on my chest at night, or more recently, snuggled up between John and I, purring loudly until he fell asleep.

And he had the most distinct purr I’ve ever heard in a cat. Not just loud and rumblely, but when he was especially happy and content, he would almost coo like a pigeon. We called it his bird-purr.

Monday, I saw that B-Dog had trouble jumping from the dining room table to the kitchen island, a jump he usually made. I had previously noticed that he’d lost a little bit of weight, but I had attributed it to the disruption in his family life (John had been gone out of town for several days, and I was out of town myself a couple of days earlier). When he had trouble jumping up on my lap later that evening, I decided to take him to the vet as soon as I could get him there.

Tuesday, we were at the vet’s office before noon, but it was too late. His blood work indicated that he was in Full Renal Failure. Wednesday, I left him at the vet’s office all day for treatment. When I picked him up Wednesday afternoon, he seemed perkier. He even ate that evening and drank a little bit. He climbed up on my chest as we lie in bed and talked. He purred and purred that special cooing of his and we let our love flow to each other.

Within the hour, he was significantly weaker. By midnight, he was slipping in and out of consciousness. We laid together, for hours, with me whispering to him and gently stroking his long, soft fur. He would occasionally reach one of his little paws out toward me, as though to stroke me back. B’Orange was supposed to be at the vet’s office at 9:00 this morning for a second day of treatment. Instead, he was put to sleep.

I was there with him, stroking him and talking to him, as the doctor gave him the injection. He was so weak that he was gone in a flash. I stayed with him for several minutes and then went home. Even with The Kitties Two here, the house seems empty. If B’Orange were here, he’d be climbing over the laptop, stepping on the keys, fooffing me with his shaggy tail at every opportunity. We’d be getting ready to paint and he’d be in the middle of that, too. He’s had paint on his feet more than once!

Frankie is sitting at my feet, looking at me with curiosity and Nana is asleep on the back of the couch. One of my babies is gone, and my husband is 1,100 miles away on this lonely night. And yet, when I say to myself, “This is it. This moment is my life” I still feel contentment underneath all of the sorrow.

My chest physically hurts from the pain of losing this dear kitty-soul too soon, but I feel privileged to have had him in my life at all. My own life has been so enriched by the joy that he brought me, every single day. He’ll never climb up on my shoulder again, like a parrot might, or bite his brother on the butt, but he leaves me so many happy memories and much love in my heavy heart.

Our beloved B-Dog, taken Tuesday night.

B'Orange and Frankie, taken Wednesday evening.

One Thing ...

2010-01-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

I got these questions off of Carmen Torbus' website; she got them from a friend. They were very thought-provoking and fun to answer. Why don't you take a stab at them, too?

1. If you were only allowed to have 1 Intention for 2010, what would it be & why? Like Carmen, who answered these questions before me, I have so many dreams and aspirations for the coming year, that this question is a really difficult one for me.

My one intention, I suppose, is my desire to emerge out of the shadows of my life and to live fully and openly. I don’t have a big desire for change, but I do have a desire to be more present in my own life and with those around me. A good friend recently sent me a quote from Braveheart: “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” I don’t want that to be my fate, although I’m afraid it has been for far too long. I’ve lived on the sidelines as my life just passed me by. NO MORE! I ran across a great sentiment on someone else’s blog: “The dance of life requires practice daily.” I intend to dance more often …

2. If you were only allowed to have 1 Goal for 2010, what would it be & how can you achieve it? I have lots of goals for 2010, but almost all of them relate to one thing in some way: my creativity. I am truly happiest when I’m painting or writing, so I intend to do both of those more often. I’m not sure how good I am at either one, but both activities bring me joy. Martha Graham says, “Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” So, if I could only have one goal for 2010, it would be to practice my arts.

3. If you had to do 1 New Thing in 2010, what would it be? Will you commit to it now? I’m intrigued by the way the question is worded … “If you had to do 1 New Thing …” I’m coming from the place of I get to do new things, every year! But, if I had to limit it to 1 New Thing, I think I’d start a podcast. I’ve done radio in the past and really enjoyed it. I enjoy talking about art and creativity. I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people, so it seems like a natural next step for me. I still have lots of planning to do before I begin, but I’m slowly working on that. So, yes, I will commit to this now – By the end of 2010, I’ll be doing a regular podcast.

4. If you had to get rid of 1 Thing in 2010, what would it be & why? This one is easy; fear is a major source of dissatisfaction for me, and it’s all internal. Some of it is natural, but some of it borders on being ridiculous to me. Our house was broken into a few months ago, and I occasionally feel a bit of mild anxiety about coming home after I’ve been gone for awhile. That, I think, is natural. But I’m also afraid of my creativity, and that’s less understandable. Aside from my husband, my creativity is what I love most in my life, and yet, sometimes I’m afraid to get started. I’m afraid to try new things, to experiment, to wonder what will happen if I do this, or that. I’m afraid of failure, and I’m afraid of successes that can’t be repeated. Fear is the thing I’d most like to get rid of, because it keeps me from sitting down and doing the work that I believe in so strongly.

5. What have you achieved in 2009? List it all! I’m looking forward to an absolutely incredible year, but 2009 was not all it could have been. My husband and I moved into a new house, in a new town. That one event has taken so much of my emotional energy this year. I’ve been hospitalized twice, for unrelated illnesses. That, too, has taken a great deal of my enthusiasm. On the bright side, though, I took online classes from Julie Prichard and Carmen Torbus, and learned a great deal. I’ve painted more and written more than I have for the past few years. I’ve made some great connections with some truly lovely people and reconnected with some old friends from high school. I’ve set up a studio in our new home, so that creativity is more convenient for me.

Considering at things less tangible (and therefore, easier to overlook), I have grown and matured in 2009. I have learned the value of appreciation and gratitude in my life. I have learned that I like structure, and am working to ease myself in that direction. I have recognized some of my dreams and have begin putting plans in place to realize those dreams.

All-in-all, 2009 may not have been my finest hour, but I’m still excited about 2010!

Thanks to Carmen for posting this on her website. I really enjoyed answering these questions for myself.

Elizabeth Gilbert on TED

2009-12-28T04:56:00.000-08:00

I've blogged about this before, but Jamie Ridler recently reminded me how important and delicious it is when she recently mentioned it. Elizabeth Gilbert communicates some amazing ideas, and they are important to remember for those of us struggling to live a creative life. It's a reminder for me to show up and do my work.

I WON!

2009-12-27T13:01:00.000-08:00

I got an email today notifying me that I was the winner of "A Basic Guide to Pinhole Photography" that was given away by Artist-How-To.com. I'm so excited! I've been wanting to learn more about pinhole photography since I heard of it a couple of years ago. Can't wait to get my book and get started!

Thanks Diane!

New Art

2009-12-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that I was taking Carmen Torbus' online workshop, Spill It!? I think I did ... Anyway, here are my efforts at Lesson Four. The point wasn't to copy her painting, but to let our own style shine through. Unfortunately, I don't yet know what my style is. What I do know is that I love the way Carmen paints; her style really resonates with me, so she really influenced what I came up with.

Carmen writes with lots of "inky drippy goodness" on her paintings and I love it! But when I tried it, I didn't like it as well on my painting. In the second one, I left the canvas flat while I wrote to minimize the drips. I love the look of writing with a dip pen -- I'll definitely be working with my dip pens to "perfect" this technique!

This painting is still very much in Carmen's style, but I felt a bit more free as I worked on it. It was inspired by an Untitled painting of Carmen's (Sorry, I couldn't get a direct link to it). I had more fun with this one than I did with the previous two, so I think I may be edging more into my own style here. I'll definitely be working on more paintings like this one.

I've Signed Up! (Giveaway Alert!)

2009-12-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

For A Limited Time At Artist-How-To.Com Sign Up for Our Free Newsletter and Get a Free Christmas Image Collection Download! Pass It On! http://artist-how-to.com/freeoffer.html

I signed up for this newsletter last week and received my first copy. I'm so glad I did, because the pictured book (The Craft of Planning Your Art Business) is on sale! I'll definitely be picking it up, as that's part of my Grand Plan for 2010!

In Sickness and In Health ...

2009-12-18T00:14:00.000-08:00

Just a short note to stay in touch. John and I have both been sicker than dogs for the past two weeks. We are both finally getting better, but it's been slow going. This has been a rough several weeks for us -- I'm ready for a new year and some fresh days!

It's time to stop focusing on where I'm at, and look toward where I'm going. 2010 promises to be a big year for me. Not because I'm doing anything that other people would consider grand, but because I plan on living more of my True Life. It's not something that I plan to just start doing on January 1st; it's something that I'm easing my way into. Tonight I'm cleaning up my studio a bit, so that I can begin to make art again. John and I are talking about developing some kind of mutual writing project (that's a tough one, because we do very different kinds of writing.). I'm carving time out of each day to spend doing the things I truly love, to spend time with those I love.

For the past couple of years, I've had fun with an exercise I call My Grand Plan. I divide my life into eight areas (Career, Family, Financial, Spiritual, Health, Social, Intellectual, Home) and come up with a document that expresses my dreams for each area. For a few days, I work on it earnestly; I struggle to express my desires in the most concrete form possible. I polish my sentences. I dig deep to figure out what it is that I really want with my life. It's a great exercise that gives me vision and guidance for the rest of the year. Usually I do this some time between January and April. I did my 2010 Grand Plan in October this year. It was exciting to see what things changed and what remained the same. And it was interesting to see how many desires on my 2009 Grand Plan had been attained, seemingly without me even trying.

This year, I did two other exercises to get me focused for 2010. Paraphrasing a set of questions sent to me by a life coach (sorry, Amy! You're last name escapes me right now, and I'm not at the computer where I could easily find the information), I set about determining what really needed to happen in 2010 for it to be considered a successful year. I need to revisit that document before I start talking specifically about my focus for 2010, so I'll share that in another blog post.

The second additional exercise -- which I am still working on -- is something I call What? Why? What? What do I want? Why do I want it? What is keeping me from having it? The idea is two-fold. By thinking about why I want something, I'm able to sometimes see that the true, underlying desire can be met in some other way. The other idea is that by examining what is keeping me from having what I want, obstacles that can be addressed can be identified. Those obstacles can then be worked on, or worked around. Patterns of thought have emerged that were quite interesting. For example, even though I don't feel particularly old most of the time, it seems that I feel too old to accomplish certain goals. I am too old to be a child prodigy, but certainly I'm not too old to do something I love on a regular basis just because I love it! And who knows where that can lead!

How are you feeling about 2010? I hope you are as excited about it as I am!

Feeling Better ...

2009-11-28T17:47:00.000-08:00

As those of you who follow me on me on Facebook or Twitter know, I was in the hospital recently. I've been out for a couple of weeks and I'm just now beginning to feel like myself again.

I went to the emergency room three weeks ago with chest pains and pain in my left arm. Since I've had a previous heart attack (October, 2000), complaints like this are taken very seriously. After a week and a million tests, they determined that it was ... nothing. Well, actually, they didn't determine that it was nothing, but they didn't determine what it was. I had an angiogram; my heart and stent look great. My EKG and EEG both came back normal. There was a slight abnormality in my nuclear stress test, but all other tests after that came back negative. So, all is well.

I've decided to change doctors from my beloved Dr. Hoenshell to someone more local. I say "more local" rather than just "local" because there are no doctors out where we live. My new doctor, Dr. Naresh Ganesh, is only 40 minutes away, rather than 90 minutes away! He was the doctor who saw me on rounds when I was in the hospital, so I decided to stick with him. I like him a lot, although some of his office practices are a bit infuriating. The first time I saw him, I had a 1:15 PM appointment (Tuesday before Thanksgiving, mind you). I was taken back to the examining room at about 3:45 PM. I saw the doctor at 4:50 PM. I left the office at 5:50 PM. Now, I've got things to do, and no one warned me he was always late like this. One reason is probably that he was taking his own vital signs, instead of having a nurse do it. And he does see patients on rounds at the hospital, remember, something fewer primary care physicians are doing all the time.

As I said, I really like the doctor, so I'm going to tolerate his tardiness. He took all the time with me that I needed him to, listened to my concerns and talked with me. And, he touched me while we talked. Nothing inappropriate, just gentle and caring. It helped me feel heard. I liked that.

Now that I'm home, I'm slowly regaining my strength. I spent a week in the hospital on bed rest, so I lost a lot of my mobility. Until today, I felt as though I'd never recover; today, however, I'm starting to feel like my old self. Good! It's about damn time!

New Art & Chair Fabric

2009-11-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I just purchased a new piece of art work. It's called "Cave Lady", and is painted by an artist named Micheal Noon. I purchased it from the Redlands Art Association. I fell in love with it from across the room and was pleased to see that was very affordable. It's 24" x 48" and very purple!

I also bought fabric with which to re-cover my dining room chairs. This is the fabric. I've never re-covered chairs before, but I've seen them do it on television! Besides, there's bound to be plenty of instructions on the internet! Any tips?

Now, I'm off to unpack the art supplies that I shipped to Arkansas for my vacation. They finally made it back home yesterday (Thanks Karen!) but I was out of town for the day. I'm eager to get back to art!

Happy Day!

2009-11-05T18:14:00.000-08:00

Just a short note to keep up the momentum with NaBloPoMo. I had a great day today. I spent the day with my good friend, Sandra. One of the things I did while we were together was buy a piece of original art from the Redlands Art Association -- a painting by a young artist named Micheal Noon. Tomorrow, I'll take a few pictures to share with you.

I also bought fabric with which to re-cover my dining room chairs. I'll share that with you tomorrow, too. For now, though, I'm going to go rest, read, and maybe watch some television. It's been a long day for me!

Wanting The Day ...

2009-11-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

It’s well past 11:00 on a Tuesday night and I long to be asleep; however, I long to be writing even more. My mind is a whir of reflections and intentions. I’m gradually developing a real vision of what I want my life to be like, and that’s very exciting for me. It’s got me forward looking: thinking and planning, dreaming and intending. But it’s also got me scared! I’ve dreamed before, and watched my dreams wither from lack of attention. I’ve set goals but not taken steps to reach them. I’ve made declarations and never followed through. Why do I think that this time will be different?

This time will be different because I am different. I am no longer content to be numbed out. Molly Wizenberg writes in A Handmade Life: “My father woke up each morning wanting that day.” When I read that sentence for the first time, I froze for a moment and knew that I would have to write about that sentiment – even if only for my own benefit – because it’s the kind of thing I’d like someone to say about me when I die: She woke up each morning wanting that day. Wouldn’t that be great on a headstone?

Far too often, however, I have approached each new day with a sense of trepidation, reservation, or even resignation, rather than with a sense of enthusiasm, anticipation, or joy. I live a gray life, and have for most of my 45 years. Oh, there have been moments of wild excitement and genuine grief, but mostly I’ve just been coasting along. The days and weeks have become months and years, and I’ve somehow managed to not be a part of my own life.

This is not the first time I’ve recognized this aspect of myself, but I’ve never before done anything about it. I’ve never, quite frankly, known what to do; I’m not exactly sure where this comes from. Usually, I blame it on the medication that I take to stabilize my bipolar mind, and I do think that’s part of the problem. But I also think resting on that answer is taking the easy way out. It’s a little too pat, a little too convenient. Other people take medication for mood stabilization and still manage to live authentic lives.

I’ve recognized this aspect of myself before, but I’ve never confronted it. I’ve always let the fear of what my life may become keep me from making any real change. I’ve always let the fear of who I may become keep me from really looking at who I am. I think, however, I’m at a point where I can no longer set myself aside as I go through life.

I’m looking at where I am, and life is good. But I want more. I’m hungry for joy and authenticity. I’m even hungry for pain and tears, if that’s what is there. I want to be truly present in my life, and experience it wholly. Too much time goes by between my glimpses of delight -- and there is much in my life to delight in.

This time will be different because I am different. I am no longer content to sit on the sidelines of my own journey. I am no longer content to let the fear in my life outweigh the joy in my life. I am no longer content to feel numb and un-alive.

She woke up each morning wanting that day. I’m not sure how to get to the place where that sentence describes my journey, but I intend to find out! It is my dominant intention to live a jubilant, joy-filled, exciting, authentic life.

Any ideas on what I do next?

NaBloPoMo?

2009-11-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

Every year, I try to keep up with NaBloPoMo, and every year I fail. I haven't decided whether or not to even try this year, but I wanted to get something posted for today just in case I decide later to make the effort. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, which means I've been doing a lot of writing -- I just haven't gotten any of it in a form that I feel comfortable sharing. Look for more in the upcoming days about what's been keeping my mind occupied.

What have you been thinking about?

Vacation was nice ...

2009-11-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

I'm just back from three and a half weeks of vacation in Arkansas, and I hardly know how to feel. It was delightful to see my mother again (it had been almost a year and a half since I'd been there), to sit in her kitchen, and talk about food and holidays gone by. It was joyful -- as always -- to see Tammy, to laugh with her, and to share in her life. It was invigorating to smell the rain, see the leaves turn color and then let go, and to cook with my mom. It was healing to see more family -- an aunt, my siblings, my nephew and his new girlfriend -- even for short visits.

Tammy and I went to the Homecoming football game my first Friday there. We sat in the cold and the wind, and watched the undefeated Mountain Home Bombers lose their first game of the season. Neither of us had been to a high school football game since we graduated. Cold as we were, we had a good time. Seeing the band march at half-time was a very emotional -- but very exciting -- experience for me. I love marching bands, but had a horrible experience in band when I was that age. It pained me, but I quit band after my sophmore year to pursue other interests -- and save my sanity.

Mom and I cooked together, talked food, and watched The Foot Network. Food is one of my strongest connections to my mother; not having a daughter of my own to cook with is one of my great disappointments. Most days I don't feel that loss, but when I'm with my mother, measuring and stirring, it's hard not to feel the emptiness of a tradition ended. Luckily, there was lots of good restaurant food, too, to take my mind off of it!

There was also a good book on my nightstand to distract and cheer me. My sister brought her copy of A Handmade Life by Molly Wizenberg for my mother to read, and I nabbed it. Molly (creator of the blog Organette) is a delightful writer, personal and conversational. Each chapter is a vignette in her life, followed by a recipe or two mentioned in the story. It was particularly poignant for me to read about her father's illness and death, as I still occasionally struggle with the loss of my own father, not too many years ago. It was both exciting and nostalgic to read of her long-distance romance with (and later marriage to) someone she met because of her blog, as I met my own husband over the internet. I enjoyed the book so much that I put it on my Amazon wishlist; I definitely plan to own this book!

The last week of vacation, I was joined by my husband, John. Even though he spent quite a bit of time falling in love with the area before we were married, he's not spent very much time there since then. In fact, this was only his third trip to Mountain Home since we married, almost 11 years ago. I enjoyed showing him the changes since his last visit and visiting old haunts with him. It was a sweet interlude for us.

Vacation was nice, but today was nicer.

Even though I had several things that I could have done today, I did only three things that I absolutely needed to do: I made two phone calls and cooked dinner for my husband (which is really more of a "want to" than a "need to"). The rest of the day was spent ingratiating myself to The Kitties Three, reading, surfing the internet, and writing. I treated today as kind of a transition day between vacation time and the calls of my everyday life. There is plenty of time, tomorrow, for listening to the answering machine messages, dusting, and unpacking. It was good to be back in my own home and lounging on my own bed.

As much as I love my mother's house -- the house I grew up in -- it's not the house I share with my husband and my fur-babies. As much as I enjoy seeing my mother, Tammy, andn Mountain Home, the day-to-dayness of it isn't the life I've built in California -- and I love this life. I'm always torn when I leave Mountain Home, because I'm not sure, quite frankly, how much time I have with my mother, with my brother and sister, with my friends there. I want to stay forever, and I want to return to my own home and the life I've developed in it.

Vacation was nice, but today was nicer.

I'm Home ...

2009-11-01T20:46:00.001-08:00

Just a short post to let you know that we are home from vacation. We had a wonderful time, visiting with family and friends. Our trip home was pretty uneventful, but even so, I'm just exhausted. I'm off to my book and bed. I'll post more tomorrow about our trip.

Staying In TOuch ...

2009-10-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile and given my recent absence, I thought I'd let everyone know that I'm okay. If you follow me on Facebook, then you know that I'm at my mother's house in Arkansas. I was first absent because I was getting ready for my trip and now I'm scarce because I don't have good internet. My mother just has dial-up; rather than fight with that, I'm going to town every few days to use public wi-fi with my laptop to check my mail, make blog posts, check my online classes, etc. Right now. I'm sitting at my mother's kitchen table, writing this post that I will post tomorrow when I'm in town.

I'm way behind on all my projects, between getting ready to travel and having a disrupted schedule. I shipped (FedEX, actually) some art supplies to Arkansas so that I will have an opportunity to catch up. I'm still readingn The Joy Diet by Martha Beck, although I haven't posted about it recently. I'm enjoying the book. I'm struggling with the processes because of my disrupted schedule.

I'm used to having my days to myself, so that it's easy to do my meditation and other processes without scrutiny or explanations, but now I'm sharing the house with someone else. I also have a tendancy to sleep more at my mother's house for some reason. In fact, I had a hard time getting out of bed today, even though I had plenty of time to sleep. It was a dreary day, which always makes me want to stay cuddled in bed -- preferably with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.

Speaking of a good book -- I just finished reading Julie & Julia by Julie Powell. I loved the movie, so my sister lent me the book. I loved it! In fact, I'm inspired to do some kind of cooking project. I'm not all that interested in "mastering the art of French cooking" but I am interested in working with my cooking skills.

I am definitely a recipe/technique cook -- much like my skills in art! I really enjoy tackling a new recipe or technique, messing with it until I perfect my skill; then I may never make that dish again! I remember when my parents grew eggplant in their garden that I decided to master the flavorful Greek dish, Moussakka. I made it two or three times that year, each time getting it a little more "right". When I perfected it -- and it was YUMMY! -- my dad even said, "This is really good. I guess we'll never have it again!" That's been years ago, and I haven't made a Moussakka since then.

Since I love to cook, and I'm very much a recipe cook, I'm considering choosing a cookbook and cooking my way through it, just as Julie Powell did with Mastering The Art of French Cooking. I don't think I'd set a strict year deadline, or endeavor to cook each recipe in order. I'm considering either the Barefoot Contessa's Back to Basics, or a Southern Living Annual. My mother also has a couple of cookbooks that I really enjoy, so may look at those, too.

Any thoughts???

My Personal Palette

2009-10-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

I am taking Carmen Torbus' online workshop, Spill It! One of the first things she asked us to do was to determine our personal palette. She tends to paint with the same few colors over and over -- colors she absolutely loves, her personal palette. She asks us to find the colors that we love and to paint with them, instead of the colors she uses. She recommends two or three transparent colors and then another two or three other colors that we just love.

I'm funny when it comes to color. In my closet are mostly the cool colors that I look best in -- pinks, blues, purples. And, in fact, purple is my favorite single color and pink, orange and yellow is my current favorite color combination. When it comes to flowers, I tend to lean toward the warm, vibrant colors of autumn. I love the mums that brighten our gardens this time of year. I love fall leaves, with their reds and goldens. Really, I just love color, and at any given time, just about any color can speak to me. There are very few ugly colors!

So, how to narrow down a universe of color into four to six bottles of paint? And, how to do this without spending a fortune buying new paint?

I finally decided to limit myself to paints on hand -- after all, I'm bound to like the colors I already own, right? I looked at my bottles; I took them out of their clear plastic shoe box and started lining them up and arranging them. I wasn't completely satisfied with the process, so I decided to make my own paint chips! I cut a few sheets of 110 lb. acrylic paper into squares and proceeded to cover each square with a single color.

After they dried thoroughly, I labeled them with brand and color information. When I was all done, I put my paints away and laid out my paint squares so that I could see all my colors. Some of them got eliminated immediately -- all the whites, blacks, iridescents, and interference colors. Next went the browns and an odd flat light pink that didn't seem to go with anything else.

I started moving the remaining several squares around, noticing how certain colors looked next to each other. I consulted the Golden's Transparency Chart. I finally ended up with the six colors that will make up my personal palette during the workshop.

They are all Golden products (although I do own a few Liquitex paints). The colors of my personal palette are: Nickel Azo Yellow, Transparent Red Iron Oxide, Alizarin Crimsom Hue, Permanent Violet Dark, Turquois (Phthalo) and Cobalt Turquois.

I can't wait to start painting!

Finished Paper-Cloth

2009-09-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

This is my first attempt at paper-cloth. I haven't painted it or applied any surface effects. I'm saving that for the workshop itself, which begins October 4. I'm having so much fun making my paper-cloth in preparation of the workshop -- I can't imagine how much fun the workshop itself will be!

This piece is almost dry. I really love it. It has more tissue paper and book text than the first one had. so there is less muslin showing through. I think I prefer the fuller looker. I may add layers to the first one ... Or just wait until it's painted to decide how much I like it.

If you want to play along, pick up a copy Stitch Alchemy by Kelli Perkins and join the yahoo group, mmartfriends. The more the merrier!

The Beginnings Of Paper-Cloth

2009-09-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

I love to stay up late and be creative. There's something about 2AM that really gets my juices flowing. Well, it's not quite 2AM, but I've been busy playing with making my own paper-cloth. I'm working through Kelly Perkins' book, Stitch Alchemy, with the yahoo group, mmartfriends. October 04 begins the official book study, but Belinda (the facilitator) has encouraged us to make the paper-cloth before the study begins so that we'll be ready to play with Perkins' techniques right away.

First, I got my supplies all together. To the left, there is a piece of freezer paper taped to my desk with a rectangle of plan, cheap, thin muslin laid out on it. On and around the laptop (my desk just isn't big enough!), there are piles of tissue papers, torn into strip and squares. There are also bits of book text, taken from Dickens' David Cooperfield. There is glue-water mixture in the frosting can in front of the computer. The glue is diluted at not quite a 1:2 ratio. On the computer screen, you see Pandora -- the only constant supply in my artistic arsenal.

Plain muslin with the diluted glue spread all over it. Doesn't look like much now, does it?

First layer of tissue paper pieces laid down on the muslin, with the glue-water patted into the tissue pieces. Then came the layer of book text pieces and another layer of decorative tissues. After each layer, I patted the diluted glue over the pieces that were being added. I also added squares of a beautiful, lacy, white Japanese rice paper. It looks as though it got lost in the layers. We shall see ...

I laid the plain white tissue paper over the entire cloth -- layering it and making sure the entire piece is covered. To keep from tearing the tissue when I glued it down, I spritzed it with a fine mist of water and then let that set for a minute or so. That seemed to help the tissue settle onto the page.

Now, it just has to dry overnight. I'm a bit concerned that my paper-cloth will be too thin to really be useful, since in some places there is only the final white tissue paper layer on top of the muslin. It was fun and easy, so I can make more tomorrow night, making whatever adjustments are necessary.

Some Lucky Winner ...

2009-09-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

My friend, the talented Gina Lee Kim, is giving away this beautiful mixed-media painting to some lucky soul. Stop by her blog for more information about the painting and to enter the giveaway; tell her Cindy sent you!

The Joy Diet -- Nothing

2009-09-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

". . . your thoughts are not you, that thinking is not the process by which you recognize the keys to your existence, things like beauty, truth, and love."

Martha Beck, The Joy Diet

I felt like a lazy bum in relation to The Joy Diet process this week. Not because I didn't do my assignment (I did!), but rather because it was "nothing" new to me. I've meditated off an on over the years and recently reestablished my regular practice. So, while I did follow Martha's suggestion, I didn't add anything new to my daily practice. I did try following her ticker tape suggestion, but found it more work than I'm used to doing. Usually, after the first few minutes, my monkey mind settles down and my thoughts slow considerably. When I recognize a thought, I just return to concentrating on my breathing and I'm back in the flow.

I usually meditate for about 15 minutes, but in honor of The Joy Diet, I extended my time this week to 20 minutes -- and I liked it. I think I'll continue with the 20-minute sessions from now on. The extra five minutes allows me the chance to sink even deeper into the stillness.

When I first began meditating, years ago, I had a problem wrapping my mind around the idea that I am not my thoughts. If I am not my thoughts, what am I? I am both deeper and broader than my thoughts, more timeless than the ever fleeting ideas of an over active mind. One day -- probably during meditation -- it occurred to me that, indeed, I am not my thoughts, but rather, I exist in that quiet space between my thoughts.

I really enjoyed this first chapter of the book, and look forward to reading, applying and growing. Now, I'm off to read about Truth!

I did my vision card, but the scanner is unhooked and I felt like I couldn't get a good photo. I'll continue to create them and will post them when I can!

A Little Late ...

2009-09-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

Jamie's evocative question this week for Wishcasting Wednesday (okay, I know it's Thursday evening, but I'm just now finding time to write about this week's question) is "What luxury do you wish for?"

I had to really stop and think about this, because the definition of a luxury is subjective. What some people consider to be luxuries, others might consider to be necessities. Just that thought alone was worth several minutes of introspection as I logged about 125 miles on Route 66 and the freeway today. Some people would consider my art supplies to be a luxury ... and perhaps the sheer amount of them is. I probably only need something to paint on, something to paint with, and paints. And some decorative papers. And a few rubberstamps. And some old booktext. But I definitely don't need two crop-o-diles!

One of my first thoughts was that I wish for the luxury of more time with my husband, but then realized after a few moments contemplation that time with him is not a luxury, but a necessity. He is the person I most want to hang out with, and the person I trust the most. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. Time with him is essential to my well-being -- not to mention, to our relationship!

I next wished for the luxury of uninterrupted play time in my studio -- loud music blaring, cats at my feet and paint on my fingertips. Oh, to have no responsibilities: no bathtubs to clean, no dinner to cook; just unlimited studio time with the motivation to use it. Then, I decided that studio time is quickly becoming another necessity for me. And, I don't really do so much around the house each day that it actually interferes. The big interference comes from the lack of motivation I experience sometimes. I'm not sure whether it's really a lack of motivation, or if it's fear -- but that's the subject of a different blog post!

When it came down to it, the only luxuries that I truly wish for are vaguely related. I would love to spend a week or 10 days (or however long it lasts) on an Abraham Hicks cruise and I would love to go on a mixed-media art cruise. The idea of spending a week or two with other artists, learning new techniques, supporting and encouraging one another really excites me (maybe it's time to think about Squam or something similar). I spent a few minutes trying to decide if it was spending concentrated, magical time with like-minded individuals, or if it was the cruise part that appealed to me, and quickly decided that it was the amalgamation of both ideas. I've never been on an overnight cruise; I have, however, been on a couple of day cruises and loved them.

This was a great question for me, because it helped me see some of the things that are really necessities for me that I previously thought of as luxuries. What luxury do you wish for?

Spill It! Online Workshop

2009-09-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

Carmen Torbus is about to teach her first ever online workshop, Spill It! The workshop will be aimed at helping you to get in touch with your creative self. I've bought a million books that promised to do the same thing, but there was always something missing. I think this workshop has the missing ingredient. Carmen will host technique videos, idea videos, and discussion -- all aimed at helping you (me) to spill our creative selves on canvas. There isn't a complicated or expensive supply list; the real investment is showing up and doing the work/play.

I think this is gonna be great. In fact, I signed up on the day registration opened. Join me?

Adventures In Bookbinding!

2009-09-19T14:53:00.001-07:00

I just finished my first ever bookbinding session. I made the book block several days ago, but just got around to binding it today. For one thing, it took some time to paint the cover and let it thoroughly dry. And for another thing, I was nervous about the whole project! I wanted to do it perfectly; I wanted my book to be the best in the class. Silly me! I'm sure mine is actually the worst book in the class because I made several mistakes.

The first mistake that I made is that I covered too much of the book tape with the painted paper. But now, I know to watch for that and I can try to do better next time.

The second mistake that I made is evident in this photo -- I either cut my book board too big (WAY TOO BIG!), or I cut my painted paper too small. Whichever it is, there is a gap between the end paper and the painted cover. I can fix this so that the book is still usable and pretty, so I'm not too concerned about it, either. I'm going to use this book for Julie Prichard's Art Journaling Super Nova (Part II) class. It will just be a technique book, so again, I can live with the mistakes.

For the mistakes I made -- my corners ROCK!!! I was so nervous about folding the corners, but Julie explained and illustrated the process well. She's an excellent teacher.

This whole process was illustrative of what's going on with me artistically these days. I'm too invested in the product and that freezes me. Once I got over my fear of imperfection and sat down and did the work, the process was fun. And the process is what art is all about. This is supposed to be an activity that brings me joy, not one that brings me angst!

I have seven more book blocks this size to cover and one long, tall skinny one to cover. I think I'll get this figured out! Now, to go cut more book board and paint more covers!

The Joy Diet ~ Introduction

2009-09-18T23:52:00.000-07:00

"The components of the Joy Diet create a direct connection between your conscious mind and your deep self, the part of you that know the purpose for your life and how you were meant to achieve it. This can be terrifying." -- Martha Beck, The Joy Diet

Friday marked the beginning of this session of The Next Chapter, a book blogging discussion group led by the talented Jamie Ridler. The book we are reading this session is Martha Beck's The Joy Diet. I decided to participate because I had so much fun when I participated once before and -- most importantly -- I've been on a mission to bring more joy into my life lately. This spring, I was riding high and joy was the rule, not the exception. Lately, however, I've been feeling kind of emotionally lethargic. I haven't really been unhappy, but I haven't been particularly joyful either. Since September 1, I've been working with a dear friend to try to change that, and I do feel better -- much better most days. But I'm still not where I was six months ago. I miss the excitement of a joy-filled life, and I'm hoping that reading and discussing this book -- and applying the practices within it -- will help me get some of that back.

In reading the Introduction, I realize that I have lost not only my sense of joy, but also that connection that Beck talks about between my conscious mind and my deep self. In fact, some days I have no real concept of my deep self. While I'm not sure I share Beck's vision of a "right life", I do know that when I'm feeling more joy, I feel more purposeful, too. I'm just more in sync with life and my inner landscape.

If you are interested in The Joy Diet, why don't you join us? It's never too late to sign up!

More Art Supplies

2009-09-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

I got a nice sized box from Dick Blick on Friday, then went out of town for the week-end! I took my new supplies with me, but didn't use many of them. I worked on bookbinding most of the time.

My new supplies include: Paper from Fabriano, Sharpie poster paint pens in black and white, Copic Markers in Antwerp Blue and Canary Yellow, a nib pen and two nibs, Speedball oil-based block printing ink in White and Black, Higgins Black Magic waterproof ink, Avery Permanent Glue Stick (my very favorite!), Krylon Workable Fixatif, two spools of 2 1/4 inch double faced satin ribbon, Caran d'Ache Neocolor II water-soluble crayons in Black, Bordeaux Red, and Salmon Pink, a Staedtler Hot Foil Pen with foil sheets, Golden Fluid Acrylic in Titan Buff and Colbalt Teal, and a bottle of PVA, Masa paper (the background of the picture), and a sheet of cream colored card stock.

Most -- but not all -- are supplies for the Art Journaling Super Nova Class that I'm taking with Julie Prichard.

Wishcasting Wednesday

2009-09-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

Since last Wednesday's wish was so meaningful for me, I've decided to try participating in Jamie Ridler's Wishcasting Wednesday to see how it fits. I love today's question:

How do you wish to stretch?

I have two wishes in ways to stretch: one is that I stretch to find more joy in my life and the other (I sense a them going here) is that I wish to stretch creatively.

To find more joy in my life, I wish to be more aware and present with my daily travels through life. I wish to be more appreciative of what I have and what I'm experiencing. I wish to notice more good in my life and overlook the struggles in my life. I truly believe that what we focus on is what comes into our lives, so I wish to focus more on what I want and appreciate. I can be a little critical and cynical, so at times this is a big stretch for me!

My second wish, as I mentioned, is to stretch creatively. I'm happiest when my husband is home and I can hear sounds of his putterings as I am in my studio, creating and listening to music. But, as I mentioned last week -- I can be so rigid in my art. I need to play more. I need to be willing to say "What would happen if ... ?" and then take the steps to find out! I need to read fewer books about other artist's experiences and spend more time with my own intuitiveness.

This is so much an echo of last week's wish, but that is because this is the area of my life that needs the most desperate attention! This the area of my life that I am most dissatisfied with, that I most want to change.

Wish me success!

New Art Supplies!

2009-09-09T21:26:00.001-07:00

Over the past couple of days, I've gotten some new art supplies. Lucky me, I have more coming! I thought I'd share with you what's come so far.

First of all, underneath all the other goodies are a couple of pieces of book board. On top of that are six sheets of Neenah paper (perfect for use with Copic Markers), a pack of Claudine Hellmuth's sticky back canvas and 15 sheets of textured card stock.

The top layer of goodies includes two rolls of aluminum tape, some plastic shot glasses, a roll of 2-inch black book cloth tape, two Copic Markers (B97 "Night Blue" and BG32 "Aqua Mint"), a paper piercer, a bone folder, waxed linen thread, binding needles, and a pair of pliers that can be used to snip the shanks off of buttons.

These goodies came from What A Bargain, Collective Journey, Paper Source, Interweave Store, and Articus Studio. I'm expecting more goodies (from DickBlick) tomorrow!

Terrific Tuesday!

2009-09-09T17:33:00.001-07:00

I had a really wonderful day yesterday!

First off, I woke up earlier than expected (2:22 AM to be exact) and couldn't get back to sleep. Because I was wide awake, I decided to spend some time on Facebook -- mostly playing Farm Town! -- and Twitter ... something I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd gotten up with my alarm. I loved watching the sky change colors as the sun rose, and hearing the birds start their day with song. Usually, I awaken around 9:30 AM, so I miss all of that.

I went to Redlands to spend the day, and my drive was nice. Not too much traffic so I made good time. I went mainly to attend a class in Copic Markers at Collective Journey. The class was taught by Jennie, and she did a great job. She was very generous with the use of her markers, if one of us didn't have the color we needed. She was funny and knew her subject well. I learned a lot about Copic Markers and their uses. I probably won't ever use them with stamping/card making, which is the context Jennie taught them in, but will use them for art journaling or other mixed-media work. She brought her air gun. I didn't get to use it, as I had to leave exactly on time, but I saw the others working with it. I think I'd eventually like to get one, but I'll be able to wait for it to come to me! If you live in the area and are curious about these markers, give Collective Journey a call (909-793-2200) and ask when her next class is! The markers are available at Collective Journey -- when they have them! They are selling so well that it's difficult to keep them in stock!

(Pics above: Jennie working with some of the ladies on using the air gun; Jennie demonstrating wood grain to Pat,

one of the women who works at Collective Journey.)

After my class, I shopped for a quick minute. I bought some of the paper recommended for working with Copic Markers (Neenah Classic, Crest Solar White) and some card stock for book two in Julie Pritchard's Art Journaling Super Nova class (part one). I haven't done a single thing toward my bookbinding projects, as I've not gathered all my supplies. I love where we live, but it is awfully inconvenient sometimes! Not that I'd have had any better luck living in Redlands, although I may have been able to justify a trip into LA if we lived there!

Once I completed my shopping, I met a friend for lunch and shopping at one of the local $.99 stores. We just had a quick lunch at Jack in the Box, but we had a good visit. All I bought was a set of plastic shot classes (thinking I can use them to dispense paint or glue into) and some aluminum tape.

The only real blemish in my day happened on the way home: I got stuck on the 215, as there was a bad traffic accident and the freeway was closed for a bit. I sat/inched ahead for about 35 minutes, and then they reopened the freeway completely and let us on our way. There was a sign advising that the freeway was closed and to take an alternate route, but I didn't know one! I called both my husband and FIL, and discovered that there was a way around the accident if I could get off the freeway at the next exit -- but it would have taken me two and a half hours out of my way! I decided to just sit in traffic and listen to the radio!

I got home in time to make it to the post office, which made my day! They had been holding a package for me since SATURDAY, but with the long holiday week-end, I couldn't pick it up until Tuesday. That almost drove me crazy! It was the first of my long awaited bookbinding and art supplies, so I was a happy camper!

There was another blemish in my day -- Hubby didn't get home from work until almost 8:30! Just time for dinner and then it was bedtime for him, since he's had such a long day. I missed getting to spend any real time with him.

And it doesn't look as though he'll be home much earlier tonight! SIGH!

What Do I Wish To Learn?

2009-09-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

The ever-evocative Jamie Ridler asks today, "What do you wish to learn?" Without even stopping to think about it, I knew at once what I wish to learn. I wish to learn to be comfortable in my creativity. To learn to trust myself, artistically and personally, to express the whole of who I am. Creativity is such a big damn deal for me, and I wish to learn to make it a more natural process, more holistic.

Don't get me wrong: I don't ever want to lose the thrill of creativity, or the ability to get utterly lost in my process. Quite the contrary! I want to learn to step out my own way, so that those two things can happen more readily. I'm not asking that creativity or expression become "all in a days work", but rather that it become a more playful, more natural, activity.

That's it! I want to learn to play again, both in my art and in my life. I'm way too serious and intense for my own good sometimes! I enjoy my artistic process most of the time, but it feels as though I work too hard at it. I get so hung up about wanting everything I work on to be good enough, that sometimes it's hard to even make a decision as to what to do next. That's why I like taking classes and working through tutorials -- I'm told what to do next.

But it's time that I really integrated all the techniques and tips that I've learned through classes and tutorials and made them a part of my own personal repertoire. It's time I learned to express my own artistic vision.

Another Giveaway!

2009-09-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

Donna Downy is hosting an amazing giveaway on her blog -- a print by Dee Kasberger of RedLetterWords.com. Stop by and check it out.

Which one would you like to win?

Craft Critique Giveaway!

2009-09-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

Craft Critique is having a Basic Grey Giveaway! The paper sets look luscious, but then, I love Basic Grey papers. Go visit their website and check it out!

Back In The Groove

2009-09-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?

Some of you have held steadfast, checking back often to see if I’ve posted anything new. Some of you have even contacted me to make sure that all is well with me and mine. I want you to know that I greatly appreciate both.

I could blame my absence on the business of moving into a new home. I could add that once I got out of the habit of posting, it was easier not to post. Of course, both are true.

But the reality is that I’ve been ill. I spent some time in the hospital and then spent months recovering. The illness drained me emotionally and physically, and left me – literally – unable to post, unable to reach out to those people who care about me. I have avoided my friends and family. For months, I didn’t return emails or phone calls, text messages or Facebook entries. I haven’t tweeted. I haven’t made art. In fact, days – no, literally weeks – have gone by without my even opening the studio door. I haven’t dared to dream or hope about the future.

But, as I told someone a few days ago, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can see it! Things are getting better; I am getting better. I have more energy and am healthier, both physically and emotionally. Tuesday, I went into the studio and worked for the afternoon and evening: sorting and straightening, unpacking and organizing. Wednesday, I continued with my studio project and even started playing with art. Thursday, I hardly left the room! I’m working through tutorials from Somerset Life and Cloth Paper Scissors (by Chrysti Hydeck and Belinda Spiwak, respectively) because the idea of making original art seems daunting at this point – but at least I’m doing something. My hands are dirty and my studio smells like paint. It’s been wonderful. I’m excited again.

I’ve also signed up for an online bookbinding class taught by Julie Pritchard and a class on Copic Markers at Collective Journey in Redlands. I’ve placed orders for supplies with Dick Blick, Paper Source, Interweave, and other online retailers. I’ve started contacting the people who have so dedicatedly kept in touch with me when I was basically ignoring them. I’m looking toward the future expectedly.

I think I’m back in the groove.

A Delightful Day!

2009-04-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

In the midst of packing to move, I decided to take time out for me today. I spent the morning with my Thursday morning painting group, and was I glad I did! Breakfast was catered by Panera Bread. All was yummy! I'd been hoping I'd get a chance to stop by there before I left, and what happened? It came to me! Now, if Old Spaghetti Factory will just find it's way to me before Tuesday ...

Then, I met Pallas for lunch at Martha Green's Eating Room. We had a delightful time getting to know each, plus we had a tasty lunch. She had the egg salad sandwich and I ordered a turkey and avocado melt; we each had sweet potato fries. The food was good and the service was attentive without being intrusive.

Pallas gave me a beautiful fabric ATC when lunch was over. What a kind gesture! I love ATCs, and this one is particularly nice. Pink is one of my favorite colors, and I adore all things Russian. In fact, I used to joke around that I was Russian in a past life. Thanks, Pallas!

Another Slow Day

2009-04-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

We didn't get to see our house on Tuesday. We didn't get out of Fort Irwin until after 3:30, so it was just too late when we made it to Silver Lakes (it's about an hour drive). We drove to the house and John got to see the outside. We got out of the car and walked around and looked at the backyard, too -- that was the first time I'd seen the backyard!

Today we are back at Fort Irwin; I'm sitting in the Starbucks again. There aren't as many soldiers here as there were Tuesday, but it is starting to slowly fill up. John is expectly to be here for only a couple of hours, so we'll go to Silver Lakes when we leave here. Hopefully, we'll get to see the house today!

Taking A Break

2009-03-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

John and I have been packing and straightening, but today we are taking a break. John had to work for a few hours today, after having the past few days off, so we are both spending the morning at Fort Irwin. I'm sitting in the local Starbucks with the laptop, surrounded by soldiers,waiting for John to break for lunch -- or be done with his work, whichever comes first. Once John is through with his report, we are going to head to Silver Lakes and tour our house, because John still hasn't seen it. Hopefully, it's no longer occupied and I'll get to look at it more closely, too.

We Found A House!!!

2009-03-20T16:46:00.001-07:00

I've mentioned several times that John and I will be moving soon. Well, Wednesday I went to Silver Lakes to look for a rental house. First, I drove around the area, looking at real estate signs and getting a feel for neighborhoods. I stopped and looked a few housed more closely and made a few phone calls, to no good end. I saw several lovely homes, but nothing that called to me. After I bored of that, I drove to Professional Realty, an agency that had advertised in the local paper as dealing with rentals. Butch, the agent I dealt with, gave me a map and a list of rentals; he suggested that I drive around and look at the outside of the houses I was interested in. Once I had it narrowed down to three or four, we'd go look at the inside of the houses.

I sat down and had a Diet Coke at the local pizzeria, and plotted the houses on the map -- at least the houses I could find! I marked the houses that were either too small or just blatantly out of our price range off the list and then planned to look at several. Fortified, I headed for the first house. There was no real estate sign in the yard and there was a car out front. It felt lived in. So, I headed over to the second house. It was okay. I liked it well enough, but I didn't love it. Slightly discouraged, I headed over to the third house on my list. Remember the saying The third time's a charm? Well, I fell in love at first sight! It was just beautiful. A little bit of yard (enough that we'll have to buy a lawnmower), a pretty front door, a bay window. While I was looking, a neighbor waved and said, "Hi!" I went over and talked with him for a few minutes. Roger was a very nice man, full of information about cell phone service and satellite companies.

I continued to look at other houses on the list, but there was always something wrong with them. Either they were too small, or they were two-stories, or they were not very well maintained, or they had too much yard -- which means watering and grooming, since Silver Lakes is in the middle of the Mojave Desert. I really just loved that one house so much -- I got such a good vibe from it -- that none of the other houses could compare.

I went to lunch, back at the local pizzeria. The lasagna was kind of expensive, but excellent -- and there was plenty to share, had there been anyone to share it with (As it was, I brought home two meals worth after I ate my fill!). After lunch, I headed back to Professional Realty so that I could see three of the houses on the inside. I had narrowed it down to the house that felt lived in, the house I loved, and one slightly larger house that I couldn't find.

Butch checked and, sure enough, the first house was currently occupied, so we went on to the house I hadn't been able to find. It had some great selling points. It was four bedrooms and three bathrooms, and had a large upstairs deck. The view was amazing. It had a large (dirt) yard, and was on the edge of Silver Lakes, so there weren't neighbors on all sides. On the minus side, it looked like a rental. The carpets were stained in a couple of places and some of the walls were kind of banged up. All of the wood work was very dark, and I just didn't like the way it felt. Plus, it was $50 more a month than the dream house (which I still hadn't seen).

So, off we headed to the house I really wanted to see. It is currently occupied by a Korean family, so first we had to make sure no one was home. Wouldn't have have been awkward? As it was, I didn't look as closely as I would have liked to have looked at things like closets, the pantry and kitchen cabinets. It had a really big two-car garage, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a dining area in the kitchen, and a fireplace in the living room. Most of the walls are yellow, except in the living room (where they are cream) and I believe in the kitchen (where I'm thinking they are blue). The floors are a combination of ceramic tile and carpet. In the kitchen, the sink (stainless steel, I'm pretty sure) is in a y-shaped island. It's by far the nicest house I've ever lived in.

And the best news? The landlord will accept our three lovely kitties! I got the phone call at about 11:15 this morning that we were good to go. We "take possession" of the house on 10 April. When I'm finished with this post, I'll go over to the rental office and give our notice to our current landlord, so our move-out date here will be 20 April, I think.

No pictures of the inside of the house, since it is currently occupied. It was nice to see it lived it; it gave me ideas for where the furniture could go and for decorating. But it was very awkward to be looking at someone's house, someone's things in the closets. I didn't look under the bathroom or kitchen sink, or in the kitchen cabinets. It felt a bit like prying.

Secret #10 -- Living in Abundance with Positive Priorities

2009-03-13T00:22:00.000-07:00

Chapter Ten contains one of my favorite “secrets” so far in The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women book blog discussion group. I hope this entire “gateway” is as exciting and stimulating as this secret is.

“When we are in touch with true abundance, it permeates the fabric of our lives.” – Gail McMeekin

Just today, I needed reminding that abundance is not only financial, and McMeekin did it early on in the chapter. As we save money for first and last month’s rent for a new home, it is tempting to fall back into scarcity thinking, but Source has reminded me – through the Next Chapter book discussion – of a myriad of ways that I am blessed and that abundance is flowing into my life. My dentist has suggested that the partial that I’ve had trouble with from day one be replaced (at no cost) rather than repaired. My father-in-law has been generous and accommodating with his car. My husband got off work almost two hours early. I spent most of the day with one of my dearest friends, enjoying her company as I do few others. One of my cats has been particularly affectionate today. I had to make an unexpected run to the nearby grocery store and truly enjoyed my interaction with the friendly cashier. My late night snack of sugar cookies and chocolate milk tasted exquisite.

It is easy to see abundance as only relating to our finances, but one can be abundant (or scarce) in any area of one’s life. Some people would see my list of blessings – if they saw it at all – as a coincidence, or just life running its course, but I choose to see it as evidence that I’m living a life infused with abundance. With John’s long commute, I have so little time with him these days; having him off work two hours early definitely provided us with a relative abundance of quality time together! Spending the day with Sandra – having lunch, shopping, and just hanging out – is further abundance in my relationships. Every item on my list is evidence of the plenty in my life.

“Every day I do what I want to, which comes from self-knowledge and commitment. I have a vision of what’s important to me and how to accomplish that. I want to live my authenticity with grace and beauty.” – Cathleen Rountree

I’m just now coming to the place in my life where it is important to me to really and truly live my life the way I want to. I’m developing the self-knowledge and commitment that Rountree is referring to, and it isn’t always easy. I struggle constantly with the concept of inspired action versus developing discipline and making a commitment to myself. I want to live with a certain amount of discipline – creating every day, for example – and yet, I know from experience how important it is to let the actions I take be inspired. I sense that there is a fine line to be walked between these two, and I’m not yet sure of where that line is.

Taking creativity for an example again: Elizabeth Gilbert, in her TED lecture, talks about the importance of showing up and doing your work on a regular basis. That really resonates with me. I think there is something to be gained from showing up, playing with your tools, and doing your work. I know people who say they can’t work unless they are inspired, but Gilbert – and I – would argue that it’s easier to be inspired when you’re doing the work. It’s easier for an idea to find you, if you’re sitting down with your tools – whether they are paint, fabric, beads, or words – and working them with regularly. My limited experience (and Gilbert’s more vast experience) seems to bear this out. But, I don’t always feel inspired to show up and do the work, even though I passionately believe in it. So, you can see my problem here … And yet, I’m convinced that this issue has something to do with living my life as I truly want to.

I long to live the life that Rountree refers to, the life in which she does what she wants to, and lives her “authenticity with grace and beauty”. I’m still figuring out what “living my authenticity” means! I try always to be true to myself, while being considerate of others, but as I’m just now paying enough attention to myself, getting to know myself, it isn’t always easy to be true to myself. “True to myself” changes!

McMeekin offers several Challenges in this chapter, my favorite being the first one, “Your Personal Abundance”. I had so much fun picturing, and then writing about, my ideal life. Since we’re getting ready to move, and will be making several changes in our lifestyle, this was a particularly meaningful exercise; some of what I wrote about will surely come to pass as John and I create a new life for ourselves in our new home.

What are some of the ways that abundance and plenty are showing up in your life? How does “living your authenticity” look? What would your ideal life look life?

Secret #8 -- Selecting Empowering Partnerships and Alliances

2009-03-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

The eighth secret in Gail McMeekin’s The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is “Selecting Empowering Partnerships and Alliances”. This was a difficult chapter for me because at this point in my creative journey, I don’t seek/desire a partnership or collaboration, outside of the support systems we talked about in the last secret.

I definitely want encouraging and empowering people around me, but the truth is that I don’t work well with others. I never have. In fact, a teacher noted as much on an early report card! I listen to the beat of my own drum, work by my own time-table, and have my own methods of organization. It’s not that I don’t enjoy working with others; it’s just that I don’t do it very well.

Having said all of that, I’d love to have a support team! I currently have three separate – but intertwined – dreams, so my support team would require people with a variety of characteristics:

Working mixed-media artist
Highly creative and open
Challenging, yet encouraging
Background in teaching
Connections at teaching venues
Someone who can read/critique/edit/make suggestions
Someone who understands the publishing process
Someone who understands the self-publishing process.

As I mentioned in last week’s post, I’m moving in a month to six weeks, so I’m not going to do much to form a support team right now. But when I get settled into my new dwelling, I’m going to make this a priority!

Canvas Progress & Workshop Photos

2009-02-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

I've been working on the canvas that I started in Kristy's workshop. Here's the progress so far. She looks lopsided in this photo, but she doesn't actually look like that. Not sure what will happen next ...
Sandra working on one of the background techniques.

Kristy before the workshop started. Luckily, she was still smiling when it was all over!

Kristy's Class Today!

2009-02-28T20:37:00.001-08:00

This is actually a 10x10 canvas, so it's a little more square than this shows. I scanned this in, and my scanner bed is 8 1/2 x 14, so it doesn't show all the yellow on the right. When I'm done with the canvas, I'll take a photo of it to get the whole thing in.

Class today was too much fun! We learned three image transfer techniques, a couple of background techniques and painted deli paper. We broke for lunch for about half an hour (we got take out from Gourmet Pizza down the street). Everyone did really awesome -- but really different -- work. It was exciting to watch people who are new to mixed-media collage put together their first piece. Kristy did a great job.

I Won & Upcoming Book Review ...

2009-02-25T22:48:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night was Kristy Christopherson's program at the Redlands Art Association. She did a really good job. She offered the above piece for the opportunity drawing, and I won! It didn't hurt any that I bought $20 worth of drawing tickets! LOL! I was so pleased to win it, since not only is it a beautiful piece, but she's a good friend of mine.

After not checking our mail for a couple of days, I was treated to a real treasure in my post office box when I opened it this afternoon. A review copy of Kathy Cano-Murillo's Crafty Chica's Guide to Artful Sewing: Fabu-Low-Sew Projects for the Everyday Crafter was sitting there, waiting for me. I haven't started reading it yet, but I have glanced through it. The book is beautiful and I can't wait to dig into it. Of course, I'll let you know what I think of it!

Must See TED!

2009-02-21T02:09:00.000-08:00

Lately, across several blogs, I've been seeing references to Elizabeth Gilbert's talk on TED. I had no idea what was being referred to, but I can take a hint from the Universe. You've got to check this talk out! Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, talks about a new way of looking at creativity. Actually, it's an old way -- an ancient way. Listen to Gilbert talk about being a conduit for the creative spirit. I was moved to tears ... literally.

Secret #7 -- Consulting With Guides

2009-02-21T00:09:00.001-08:00

For several weeks now, I’ve been participating in The Next Chapter, a book discussion blog group, hosted by the amazing Jamie Ridler. We are reading 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin. This week’s secret has to do with Consulting With Guides.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what to write about this secret. McMeekin has the reader take a history of Your Creative Heritage. That was so difficult for me. While I didn’t grow up in a creative prison, I wasn’t raised in the most nurturing environment, either. Like most parents, mine did the best they could with what they had. And what they had included one son who is immensely talented at realistic drawing and a special needs daughter who died at 12-years old. My mother and father didn’t have the time or energy to be creative themselves or to nurture creativity in their children. Well, that’s not altogether true. My aforementioned older brother got private art lessons for awhile, until he decided that art wasn’t cool anymore. But as the sister closest in age to the special needs child, I often got lost in the shuffle. I have no idea if I had any natural talent as a child. My mother has since told me that I loved to draw and color – and that I would color on anything that didn’t wriggle away. In fact, as a young child, I “enhanced” the print that hung in the living room behind the couch with crayon (my first “mixed-media” piece!).That piece hung there for years.

As I got older – and children left the nest – my mother took more time out for herself. I remember trips to the craft store every Saturday, and then a week playing with whatever technique had been demonstrated that day. She sewed beautifully, and began to get more creative with both that and her cooking. I was just along for the ride. No particular interest was paid to whatever I might have been good at, and no one thought to inquire about what I might have especially enjoyed. I had no concept of process, or getting lost in my creative endeavors.

For years, I let my creative efforts lie fallow or in the void. But when I was ready to explore my creativity, the Universe sent me people who encouraged me, taught me, and guided me. Just at the time my creative energies were starting to stir, I was sent a highly creative friend, and Diane has encouraged me so much and shared several of her own techniques with me. I currently have a real, honest-to-Source mentor, who encourages me, while also telling me just how it is. She lifts me up, teaches me and supports me. We don’t create the same kind of art, so I’ve never felt any envy about her process or her product, even though she’s a highly creative artist. Sandy also got me involved in our local art association, supported me through a Featured Artist Show, to the point of hanging the show for me! I’m also blessed with an amazing artist friend who is also encouraging and supportive. We relate more as contemporaries, not as a mentor/mentoree. We often make art together, and we delight in the other’s success. Then, of course, there is my husband, my best-friend, and my family - all whom are terrifically supportive and encouraging. I also belong to a group that meets once-a-month to share and make art together.

I’ll be moving in the next month-to-six weeks. I wonder what kind of community and support system I’ll find in my new home. I’m hoping that I’ll find (or be able to create) an artist group that meets once-a-week. That would be delightful.

What kind of guides do you have? I hope you have wonderful encouragement in your creative life!

Shopping and Organization

2009-02-18T21:56:00.001-08:00

Today, Kristy Christopherson and I went to Palm Desert to shop at The Art Colony. What a wonderful day we had! The Art Colony is a wonderful store, full of everything you can imagine for the serious artist. This is no Michael's or JoAnn! They carry Golden Artist Colors, Copic Markers, and all kinds of other goodies. Shopping was a great experience -- I could have bought one of everything! As it was, I spent WAY to much money (luckily, I have an understanding and supportive husband), and I didn't buy close to half the store! The best part of the experience, though, was getting to know Kristy better. We talked and laughed for hours.

When I came home, I realized I had no where to put my new treasures, so I started organizing. I got my dining room table mostly cleared off -- and I found my long-lost blow dryer -- and started organizing my supplies. I still have some things I need to do, but it felt good to take a step toward getting this under control. Andrea Scher, this week's featured interview in The Next Chapter book blog, says that real courage is in hearing your gremlins/saboteurs and taking some action anyway. If that's the case, I was very courageous today!

Secret #6 -- Conquering Saboteurs

2009-02-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

This week's dicsucssion in The Next Chapter online book blog is secret #6 of Gail McMeekin’s 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is about “Conquering Saboteurs”. I’m really fortunate that I’m in a place right now where I’m not spending a lot of time with my gremlins and personal saboteurs. I wish I could say that this was a permanent phenomenon, but I’m fully aware that this is part of a cycle, like so many other cycles in my life.

Because I’m not currently being visited too much by the gremlins and saboteurs, I was able to enter my first juried art show over the week-end. None of my three pieces were accepted, but I truly feel okay about that. There was one juror, so the show is a reflection of one man’s opinion. My art didn’t resonate with him; that’s fine because there are plenty of people whom I respect that my art does resonate with.

Unlike Andrea Scher, I’m not currently being visited by voices that talk to me about my work or my worthiness – but I have been, and won’t be surprised if they come back. She makes a great point that the voices quiet down sometimes and get louder at other times; the best we can do is manage them. One saboteur that is currently making its presence known for me is Disorganization, one I know well. I do my arting and crafting at the dining room table, where we rarely eat. However, as the largest flat surface when I first walk in the house, it’s also a repository for mail, packages, and papers that don’t seem to have any other home. As you can imagine, my work space is in total disarray. But that’s okay, because it goes along with my supplies, which are also in total chaos. We are moving soon, so it’s difficult for me to find the energy to do much toward reorganizing my supplies. See how the gremlin of Disorganization has got me in its clutches?

McMeekin writes early in the chapter that, “For creative women, self-sabotage poses a serious risk to the completion of work. To become a woman who expresses her creativity, as opposed to a woman who just dreams about it, mastering these nasty gremlins becomes an essential competence.” This quote reminds me that it’s imperative that I make time and energy to organize my supplies (besides, won’t organized supplies be easy to pack?) and clean off my table/work surface. Not simply because my home would look better and be more comfortable, but because it’s important for the sake of my art!

I have a loose goal of developing the discipline of engaging in my art everyday. I have colorful calendar that helps me chart my progress, with too many blanks as of late. The gremlin of Disorganization is effectively keeping me from my goal!

Hmmm, I guess the saboteurs are more active in my life right now than I thought they were!

Secret #5 -- Committing to Self-Focus

2009-02-09T00:11:00.000-08:00

This week’s discussion in the Next Chapter book club is Secret #5 of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, by Gail McMeekin, is “Committing to Self-Focus”. Jamie, our amazing hostess and facilitator, challenges us to not just read about self-focus this week, but to experience it.

Because my whole life is patterned in cycles, so is my self-focus and self-care. Sometimes I am all about self-focus and other times, I’m very outer-focused or other-oriented. Times of self-focus tend to coincide with times of high creativity, while times of other-focus tend to align more with the fallow times I wrote about in my last post.

Lately, though, I’ve tried to be more systematic with my self-focus. On 15 January, I joined the 100 Day Reality Challenge. The intentions that I set all had to do with being more present in my day, or being more focused on my self. To support my intentions, I’ve adopted the daily practices of taking a daily walk, writing my morning pages, and keeping a 100-item gratitude list each day (because today is Day 26 of the Challenge, I’ll be adding a 15 minute meditation to each day). Okay, so I haven’t done such a good job with the walk – and I haven’t done the other practices for the past few days – but mostly I’ve been doing okay. Since I’ve been participating in the 100 Day Reality Challenge, time seems to have slowed down for me, and I’m more focused on my day. Eckhart Tolle teaches us to periodically stop what we are doing, taking stock of the moment and realizing that this is it; this is my life. I’ve been doing that more often and able to feel appreciation for where I’m at, at any given moment. I consider that pretty good self-focus.

Because my husband and I don’t have children, I don’t have that element of other-focus in my life. While I was initially heartbroken at not being able to have children, I’ve come to love our child-free lifestyle. John does demand a certain amount of attention and focus as does our apartment, but he takes as much care of me as I take of him!

Secret #4 -- Surrendering To Creative Cycles

2009-02-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

Up until just recently, my times of creative inactivity were viewed as voids, making me very anxious. I worried that my desire to paint, to cut-and-paste, to simply create would not return. I have experienced years, literally, of the void, and I’m not eager to do that again.

Lately, however, I’ve come to see that not all periods of creative inactivity are, in fact, voids. Some are times of creative synthesis, of rest and rejuvenation. Thanks to Marilou Awiakta in The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McKeekin, I’ve come to see these periods as fallow times rather than voids. There is a difference; it’s not just a matter of semantics.

Void implies a certain darkness or emptiness, a stillness beyond normalcy. In my experience, voids are not purposeful. While there is much to learn from entering the hollowness, we rarely enter it with deliberation. When I think of the void in terms of my own creativity, I think of a time when nothing is happening, internally or externally. Not only am I not actively creating anything, but I am not growing creatively either. I am not continuing to fill the well, as Julia Cameron would say.

To lie fallow, on the other hand, is to purposefully lay idle in order to conserve or rejuvenate. Think of how farmers let a field lie dormant for a season in order to increase later productivity. I may not be actively expressing my creative side, but I’m still taking care of it. I’m nurturing my creative self. Instead of looking at this time of inactivity as a void, I’ve been trying to turn it into something useful.

To be in the void is to be stagnant, creatively. Not only do I find it difficult to express myself in new ways, I find it difficult to even revisit and rework old ideas. There just isn’t any motivation for creative endeavors. When I’m fallow, it may look similar to an outsider; however, it feels very different to me. This is when I catch up on my art reading, reading about new techniques and drooling over the eye candy. Perhaps I don’t have the creative energy or motivation to tackle a completely new project, so this may be a time when I approach a previous worked idea and tackle it anew. I may play with new products, simply following someone else’s directions to the letter, not really creating anything new. This may be a time for experimenting with a medium previously unexplored.

What I’m learning about myself is that by acknowledging these periods of inactivity as fallow times rather than assuming they are voids, they rarely make it that far. I’m able to stay a bit creative, if not fully expressive, and these periods don’t seem to last as long as they did when I saw them – and treated them – as voids.

Then, when the bright spots appear, I’m able to indulge myself! I certainly do celebrate them and create as long as I have the motivation to do so. I don’t have any children; I have a supportive husband and I don’t work, so I’m able to create with abandon, for as long as I have the energy to do. It’s not unusual for me to stay up all night, sleep for a couple of hours and then stay up all night again, a few nights in a row, when my creativity peaks. I know it’s especially unhealthy for me to live that way since I have bipolar disorder, but I seem incapable of restraining myself when the urge hits. I get lost in my creative process and time slips away. When I do try to force myself into bed, my mind is racing and my body is energized with the possibilities of what I’m creating that it’s difficult for me to just lie there long enough to sleep. The creative frenzy is such a delicious feeling that I don’t want to dismiss it for sleep.

Secret #3 -- Following Your Fascinations

2009-01-30T05:05:00.000-08:00

The prompt for this secret was to write about what “en-courages” us and then to take one small step in the direction of our dreams.

I know it sounds sappy, but my husband’s love and encouragement helps me be brave. He is my constant, unfailing support. He reminds me to believe in myself and that I’m stronger that I think I am. I can do more with him by my side, and those things I absolutely can’t do, he can do for me.

Journaling helps, certainly, as does talking to my best friend, my mentor, art friends, and/or my husband about my fears. All support me fully and encourage my every endeavor. Being well-prepared helps with some things, but over preparation just causes increased anxiety in other situations. Doing the hard thing first often helps, as does making a list (so I can cross things off!). I’m a believer in the law of attraction, so I set my intentions and then just try to stay aligned with them, taking whatever action I feel inspired to take; inspired action gives me courage.

I took my brave step on Tuesday. I set up a complicated still life and drew. I have high anxieties around drawing, so this was quite the way for me to spend my afternoon. I’m taking a basic drawing class at the local art gallery, but I don’t practice outside of class, because of these anxieties. Since then, creative juices have flowed steadily. In fact, I’m in the midst of an all-nighter, creating away!

Another Show For Me???

2009-01-30T00:36:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I received a phone call from an acquaintance of mine who manages the art for a local coffee shop. She asked me if I'd be interested in doing a one-woman show. I told her that I'd have to check out the venue before I committed to the show, but I'm pretty excited about the opportunity! I'll either go Friday or Saturday to look at the space and see if it's something I can work with. My big concern is having enough art to fill the space! I sold three pieces at my Featured Artist Show and I've not replaced them in my inventory. I am working on a table-top item right now, but I don't know if the venue is table-top friendly -- another reason to check it out before I commit to the show.

For those of you who don't believe in coincidence ... Just this evening, I ran into a friend who asked if I was going to have another show anytime soon. That's almost weird, isn't it? A little wink from the Universe, perhaps?

Secret #2 -- Honoring Your Inspirations

2009-01-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

I’m still playing “catch-up” with my 12-Secrets posts. Chapter Two presents the reader with three challenges. The first is to spend 15 minutes a day in quiet time, simply to listen to your thoughts. The second is to build a creative sanctuary, even if it’s just a collection of inspiring objects in a portable box. The third challenge is a Creative Style Inventory.

I have not done the first challenge on a regular basis. I could claim that I’ve been to busy, but I believe that I could find 15 minutes to do something that was important to me. The reality is that it never occurred to me to do this again, after I read the challenge. I just turned the page and went about my business. I confess that there was a little bit of resistance on my part, as I read the activity, especially as it is a daily, repetitive, activity. I will try it when I’m finished with this post to see how it feels.

I’ve also made a decision not to do the second challenge for now. John and I are looking at apartments, getting ready to move soon. That seems like a bad time to be creating a new space in my home. Yes, I could just create a box of inspiring objects – but I have too many inspiring objects for that! I have rubber stamps, fabric swatches, paints, ephemera; I’m ready to get into a new dwelling and get things organized! We are hoping to find someplace big enough for me to have my own art room.

So that leaves the Creative Style Inventory. I thought I’d share my answers with you as I work through them.

When did your creative awakening or reawakening occur? About four or five years ago, I made a new, highly creative, friend and she encouraged me to start making jewelry as I had a hard time finding jewelry that fit. That started my creative reawakening, even though I no longer make jewelry (in fact, I did not make much jewelry, although I sure bought a lot of supplies!). From there, I went on to try my hand at more sculptural works, and began playing with fabric. I eventually hosted a group of artists who were exploring color journals in a round-robin format. I remember mailing off a book the morning that my father died; that was three years ago in February. Since then, I’ve gone on to be the Featured Artist at the Redlands Art Association (October, 2008), with a show of mixed-media pieces.
What talents do you have, naturally? I’ve been told that I’m good at composition and color. I’ve also been told that I have a way with words.
Which elements (fire, water, wood, air) draw you toward them? Fire and water. I’m fascinated with small (candle sized) flames; I love the way they flicker and move about. Water is very calming and soothing to me.
Where and when do you create? Where and when do you wish to create? I tend to create at the dining room table, usually in the evenings or late at night. I’m trying to work with my creativity, coaxing it out at other hours. I wish I had a room of my own in which to create, and I wish that I was more of a morning person. I wish I created throughout the day, every day. Creating everyday is a goal of mine. I don’t expect to create a masterpiece each day, but I do believe in the value of showing up to my tools, of honing my skills.
What activates your creative energy and what drains it? My creative energy is often activated by the promise of a new technique or a new product – I love working with the new. Sometimes I try new things and they don’t take me anywhere, but often times, I find something to add to my creative arsenal. My creative energy is also activated by pain – mild to moderate pain. The ability to work through pain gets me through a lot of bad days. However, pain – anything stronger than moderate pain – also drains my creative energy. It’s just very difficult for me to stay focused and creative when I’m hurting. Another thing that will drain my creative energy is fear. Fear my art won’t be good enough, or compare favorably to someone else’s, but also fear of touching something emotional within myself through my art. Fear is a big energy drainer for me.
Do you use creative rituals? Which ones? If not, invent some. I really don’t use any creative rituals. So many people do, that I may reread this segment of the chapter and consider creating some.
Does nature influence your creativity? How? I’m not sure if it does, or how it does. I know that I sometimes feel more clear-headed and ready to tackle a project after a walk, but I’m not sure if that’s about nature or about the exercise. As I much as I love the country (I was raised out in the middle of nowhere), I’m a city girl now and I love it just as much. There are certainly powerful influences and inspiration in the architecture, dressed windows and city smells.
What has been your greatest creative hurdle so far? As I previously mentioned, it is fear: both the fear of being judged – and found lacking – and the fear of my own emotional response to the creative experience. I have found that when I can let go and enjoy the process, the product is better – and I’m less concerned with the outcome.
What time of day are you most receptive to inspiration? Inspiration most often hits me when I’m actually working – or playing – with my materials. That is why I really want to develop the habit of “creative every day”. When I’m doing other things, ideas don’t just come to me very often, When I’m actually playing with my supplies, working with the materials, trying new things, inspiration hits. It doesn’t seem to matter when that is. However, as I mentioned before, I’m much more likely to be playing with my art supplies in the evening or at night.

Recently Purchased Rubber Stamps

2009-01-25T15:48:00.001-08:00

These are samples from my most recently purchased rubber stamps. None of these had been used until I look impressions with them today. Most are stamped crooked -- because I was on the phone while I was stamping and not paying as much attention as I should have been. Some of these are wood mounted (still my favorite), but most of them are red rubber. The four ATC size stamps in the top picture and the Christmas stamps in the bottom picture are Tim Holtz Stampers Anonymous line so they come premounted on cushion; the rest of the rubber stamps I had to mount myself. I don't know if I'm going to continue to buy red rubber, or if I'm going to mount it. After seeing Kate of Invoke Arts work with unmounted rubber, I may try that. She made it look so easy and it would certainly be cheaper and less frustrating!

Riverside Rubber Stamp & Paper Arts Festival

2009-01-24T23:53:00.000-08:00

I've had quite the day! I spent my afternoon at the Riverside Convention Center, at a scrapbook and rubber stamp convention. It was lots of fun, and I spent way too much money. Look tomorrow for a picture of all my treasures! This ATC was made by Kate at Invoke Arts. I loved their products and I learned a lot of new techniques by watching her work. I'm actually eager to carve out some time to play. She recommends three to five hours at a time, so that you have time to not just make a card or a few ATCs, but to really play with your materials and techniques. I'm not sure when I'll find three hours -- much less five! -- but I'm going to try to very soon.

I made this ATC in a class taught by Miss Jennifer of Auntie Amy's. It was so good to see those ladies again. I've really missed them since Amy decided to close her store. This ATC was made on a metal substrate -- how cool is that? In addition to using papers, stamps, and buttons, we used rub-ons, which I'd only used a couple of times before. Would you believe that a crop-a-dile made the hole for the ribbon? It was like butter!

Tonight, I was in such a mood to play with art that I gesso'd several pages in my new art journal. Note that I still didn't do anything actually creative, but I came a lot closer. Prep work ought to count! Even though I wasn't doing anything particularly expressive, it felt good to be smearing that white stuff around on my pages. My new art journal is a moleskine -- the lavender one -- and I'm already loving it. I'll have to work hard the next few days to get caught up at RAA and around the house, so I have time to play!

Daily Picture "Catch Up"

2009-01-24T08:44:00.001-08:00

"Catch Up" is in quotes because I've missed a few days of my daily picture, so I can't completely catch up!

Remember the roses that John sent me for our 10th wedding anniversary? Here they are, still gorgeous. Saturday, 24 January, 2009.

I'm working on a mixed-media piece for someone near-and-dear. I just can't get it right. On this one, the transfer came out great, but the collage elements are kind of over-powered. I may have to try yet again. They do say that the third time is a charm! Thursday, 22 January, 2009.

I'm taking an online scrapbooking class and we had our first class chat. It was so much fun, and nice to get to know everyone a little bit better. Picture of the screen during the chat; I don't remember whose idea it was to take a picture, but it was a great one. Tuesday, 20 January, 2009.

Laundry. What more is there to say? Sunday, 18 January, 2009.

Pizza out with a friend. We went to Gourmet Pizza in Redlands. I had the "Crabby Bill's" (garlic butter, mushrooms, green onions, real crab, shrimp, mozzarella & Swiss cheeses, and avocado after baking) . Yummy! There is a new pizza place in town; Sandra and I will be trying it out soon! Saturday, 17 January, 2008.

The First Secret -- Book Discussion

2009-01-24T00:11:00.000-08:00

I’m a little late for the party, but I recently signed up to be a part of an online book discussion. The rest of the group is on the third chapter and I’m just starting the book. The book we’re reading is The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor by Gail McMeekin. The discussion is facilitated by the generous and talented Jamie Ridler. I hope to get caught up in the next few days and then I’ll be posting on Friday or Saturday in response to Jamie’s prompt in connection to the chapter we’re reading. The first “assignment” was to post where we are “on the journey to your creative self”.

When I first set down to answer this question, I wrote a 2.5 page Word document full of fear, longing, and tears – and I hurried through the end of it so I could move on to the "real" version of this post! It was cathartic and good for me, but I don’t think that anyone else would be interested in all I had to say. So, rather than write about my entire creative history, I’ll just talk about where I am now.

Currently, I’m a mixed-media artist, but a blocked one. In fact, I recently finished a 12-week long course in The Artist’s Way, and I’m more blocked, creatively and emotionally, than I was when I started the course! I’m trying to get unblocked by making art, but it feels stale and predictable. And foreign.

I am taking a basic drawing class at the local member-run art gallery, and I alternately love and hate it. I’m the least experienced artist in the class, so my work is somewhat sophomoric. But when I’m able to get lost in the process while drawing – well, I love those moments. And, not surprisingly, I’m not as judgmental of my product when I was lost in my process.

I even know what my issue is – fear. Yes, I’m afraid that my work won’t be good enough or meet the standards that my previous work has predicted or that I have set for myself. But that’s really the least of it. I’m mostly afraid of the emotional consequences of giving in to my creativity. You see, somewhere along the line, I emotionally shut down. I can feel myself wanting to wake up, but I’m afraid of what will come up, what will need to be dealt with. I’m afraid of losing control, emotionally, and I’ve worked hard for a long time to maintain that control.

I’ve read through the first three secrets/chapters of the book and it’s left me feeling very anxious and edgy. I am both wanting to create and finding myself fearful of creating.

Since it’s after midnight, I think I’ll go to bed and deal with the tug-of-war tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary To Me!

2009-01-16T21:31:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned previously, today is our 10th wedding anniversary. What a wonderful day it has been. John and I haven't done anything really special -- just spent time together when he got home from work. He sent me the most beautiful red roses. Here they are before I trimmed them and put them in their vase. They are just gorgeous. Thanks, btw, for all the well wishes -- both in comment form and via email -- that we received from all of you!

I mentioned in a previous post that I am taking an online scrapbooking class and that one of my assignments involved making an "attribute book" for somone I love; I chose my husband, John. It's done in an 5 1/2" by 8 1/2" format and stored in a lavender pleather binder. The binder is very luxurious. This is the title page.

Each page includes an attribute and a quote. This page is "enthusiastic". This picture was taken at our wedding rehearsal dinner.

This is my favorite page, partly because of the theme and partly because of John being in uniform. He's in the National Guard and I'm so proud of him! I had so much fun putting the the album together. It highlights 22 attributes, or characteristics, that describe the way I see my husband and hope he sees himself. Focusing on his positive qualities this way, I fell a little bit more in love with him as I worked on it. It was a wonderful experience for me. I gave it to him for our anniversary. He loved it.

Another Giveaway!

2009-01-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Kathryn, over at KV Creative Designs! She is celebrating her Blogiversary with a giveaway! She is giving away lots of yummies, so stop by her blog and check it out! You just might be the lucky winner! And tell her that I sent you ...

No Photo Today

2009-01-15T22:48:00.000-08:00

There is no daily picture for today because one or more of the cats hid the camera! I couldn't find my little digital camera all day long; John found it about an hour ago under the dining room table. Sadly, all photo ops for the day had passed. Tomorrow the daily picture should be back.

Speaking of tomorrow -- John and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary tomorrow and I couldn't be happier! Think of us and wish us well!

Playing Catch Up

2009-01-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

Today, I spent most of the day at the Gallery, trying desperately to get caught up. I barely made a dent in the receipts that have accumulated since the first of the year. I'm so far behind! Normally, I don't let myself get this far behind, but having been sick for the past several days ... Well, that prevented me from getting any work done. I still don't feel completely myself, but I am feeling tons better.

Project365 CatchUp

2009-01-14T01:13:00.001-08:00

I ought to be in bed, but I can't sleep; my legs are restless. I've taken something to calm them down. I thought I'd catch up on my picutre-a-day posts while I was waiting for my meds to kick in. The pics are in reverse order, with the most recent one on top. I'm feeling a bit better, so I should be able to stay caught up now.

Tuesday, I felt human again, with the help of Coricidine HBP. I still don't feel really well, but I was able to work at the Gallery for a few hours today. I finally got my final December bank deposit made! LOL! I'm planning on going in for most of the day on Wednesday. I bought these magazines several days ago, butI just felt like dragging them out to look at them today. I read every issue of CPS; this is the first issue I've ever seen of artists' cafe.

Monday, I felt pretty awful again, after my week-end of activity, so I stayed in bed most of the day. I really should have gone to the Gallery and worked, but I just couldn't make myself do it. I did drag myself to drawing class Monday night, but then I went home and went back to bed with the laptop. B'Orange, the shaggy duder, curled up on my chest as I was taking this picture, so you see the laptop on my legs between his fur!

Sunday night, John and I celebrated my father-in-law's 77th birthday with him and my mother-on-law. We went for dinner at the Black Angus and then went back to their house for cake and coffee. I truly enjoy their company, so it was a delightful evening. The yummy chocolate cake was from Albertsons.

Saturday, 10 January, I took a bunch of cold medicine and then went to Collective Journey for a class in digital photography taught by Kevin Bondy of Vivid Treasures Photography. The class was very interesting. I'm eager to get to know my camera a bit better now. Must read instruction booklet!

At Christmas, the newley-married-Hutts gave us some S'mores-in-a-Jar. I made them up on Friday. Here's what they looked like when I took them out of the oven. They were yummy, though a bit awkward to eat. They were very crumbly when they were hot. When they cooled down, they were bar-like, but somewhat hard. Either way, they tasted pretty good.

How We Live ...

2009-01-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite authors and bloggers, Patti Digh, tweets, "Seems we can choose to be in 1 of these 3 phases: Reacting against, responding to, or creating new (being generative). Which are you most?" Definitely food for thought ...

I think I do pretty good most of the time with not reacting against, although I do have my buttons, just like everyone else! Thanks to Jai Pausch and her recently deceased husband Randy, I'm learning that "it is what it is." This has helped me tremendously in my efforts to not react against so much of the time. Never one to worry too much, I worry even less these days. As I type this, however, I can think of one issue that I need to stop reacting against and just let go of. I need to take a deep breath, step back, remember that what will be, will be, and move on. The decision is being made by the powers that be and now I need to work to support it fully.

As an artist, I love creating new -- or being generative -- whether it is new ideas, or solutions, or producing actual works of art. I am especially thrilled to come up with a new idea these days, now that I'm on so much medication and my thought processes are a bit muddled.

I'd have to say that I spend most of my time responding to. The alarm goes off; I get out of bed. The cats are hungry; I feed them. There are sales at the Gallery; I record them and make the bank deposit. Unfortunately, I do much of this without deliberate thought or conscious choice on my part. I'm just responding to my environment.

That is about to change, however! Come Thursday, 15 January, I'm embarking on Season Two of the 100 Day Reality Challenge. For 100 days, I'm going to make a concerted effort to live more consciously and deliberately. I haven't fine-tuned my intentions yet for this Challenge, but I'm working on them. I'm working on it backwards: I know what my practices will be, I just don't know what the intentions are that those practices represent! My practices will include morning pages, gratitudes, daily exercise, and following a new Secret teaching-a-day book that I recently got.

Last season, I took on too many practices and the first day that I didn't do them all, I fell off the practice-wagon and couldn't get back on it. I just became overwhelmed by all that I took on. I'm not going to make that mistake again this season, so I'm keeping it light. I may do more on any given day, but I'm not going to push myself or hold myself accountable for anything other than those four practices.

As I said, this starts Thursday and lasts 100 days -- Wish me luck!

Another GiveAway!

2009-01-13T01:00:00.000-08:00

Chrysti Hydeck, an artist I follow on Twitter, Facebook, and in Blogland, is hosting a series of giveaways on her blog. Be sure to stop by and check out what she's doing. She's giving away some great prizes.

Daily Pictures ...

2009-01-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

I've been taking them, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been sick. I'll try to get caught up on them tonight or tomorrow during the day. I should go to the Gallery Monday and get some work done, but I'm just not sure I'll feel like it! This cold has really kicked my butt!

Home Sick!

2009-01-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I woke up feeling just awful, so I've spent most of the past 24 hours in bed. This is last night's picture; I've just gotten around to posting it. B'Orange loves to lie in bed with the people, so he was there with me most of the time, lying at my feet, making it difficult for me to get comfortable! At least he wasn't lying on my chest. Usually I don't mind that, but my chest feels heavy enough, with all the congestion. I just have a bad cold, but it's a really bad one. I take so much prescription medication that I hate to add an OTC medication to the lot, but I finally broke down and took something and I immediately felt better. Treating the symptoms does have its value.

Last night, at 7:49 PM, we were treated to a 4.5 earthquake here in the Inland Empire. No damage at our house and no injuries anywhere, I believe, so it was quite exciting. I actually LIKE earthquakes, having never been in a bad one. I remember a couple as a kid in Arkansas, and then I've experienced a couple out here. The earthquake last night was my biggest one to date.

Fun With Friends

2009-01-07T22:04:00.000-08:00

Today, John and I went and spent the late afternoon and evening with the newly-married Hutts. John showed Alison and Steve one of his favorite games, MegaMek on our laptop (MegaMek is a futuristic war game that runs in Java). While they were doing that, I worked on John's Attribute Book. I think I'll have it finished this week-end. Steve treated all of us to dinner from Pizza Hut -- Creamy Chicken Alfredo pasta, breadsticks, and Honey BBQ Chickenwings. It was yummy, and a good time was had by all.

Scrapbooking

2009-01-07T00:47:00.001-08:00

I'm not much of a scrapbooker, but I'm taking a class through Big Picture Scrapbooking called A Life Well Crafted, taught by Kolette and Jason Hall. The class lasts a year long, but I've only signed up for the first month to see if I'll like it. So far, I'm loving it. There is so much more depth to these assignments than just picking out pretty paper and gluing embellishments down on the pages. I'm looking into myself and learning about myself, as well as about scrapbooking. It's a good class. I'll probably continue on the month-to-month plan (in case I get overwhelmed when we eventually move).

Above, you'll see some of the supplies for the Attribute Book I'm working on for this class. I'm making the book for my husband. I had a hard time finding papers to use that seemed masculine enough and that went with the album that I bought before the class started without knowing what it was for! I'm pretty happy with what I bought today.

I hope to have the album finished by the end of the week. I'll share a bit of it here.

Have I Already Shared This?

2009-01-06T06:05:00.000-08:00

I was web surfing instead of sleeping, and I ran across this YouTube video. It's vaguely familiar, so I wonder if I'd seen it -- and thus shared it -- before. If so, my apologies. If not, enjoy! It's truly inspirational.

Card Club Today

2009-01-05T21:18:00.001-08:00

This morning, I participated in "Card Club" at Collective Journey, the local scrapbooking store. It consists of several women who get together each month for project goodness. They each talked about what they've been working on during the past month, and many passed around samples. A couple of women even brought things to share, so I got some really great papers. Then there was a small project to work on. This was the first time I attended Card Club. Everyone was very nice and welcoming. I'll definitely be going back!

Today we made Valentine Tags that each held a Hershey's miniature. They aren't great pictures, but here's a snap of the table where some of the women were working and then a pic of the completed tag. They turned out really cute and were a lot of fun to make. I even got to work with that really sticky double-sided red tape; I had never worked with it before. I love it!

250th Blog Post Giveaway!

2009-01-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, I got an unexpected copy of Bernie Berlin’s Artist Trading Card Workshop. However, I already have a copy! To celebrate my 250^th blog post, I’m giving away my “previous owned”, barely used copy (I think I’ve looked through it once) to an eligible person in a random drawing to be held Monday, 12 January, at about 10PM PST.

To enter, just follow the easy steps below:

1. Mention the contest in a post on your own blog, and include a link to it in your post (http://www.lantier.org/2009/01/250th-blog-post-giveaway.html).

2. Leave a comment for me on this post, so that I can check out your blog.

3. Check back to see if the random number generator drew your name. If I did, contact me at art@lantier.org with your address, so I can get your book to you. After three days, if I don’t hear from you, I’ll choose another winner!