06 January 2010

One Thing ...

I got these questions off of Carmen Torbus' website; she got them from a friend. They were very thought-provoking and fun to answer. Why don't you take a stab at them, too?

1. If you were only allowed to have 1 Intention for 2010, what would it be & why? Like Carmen, who answered these questions before me, I have so many dreams and aspirations for the coming year, that this question is a really difficult one for me.

My one intention, I suppose, is my desire to emerge out of the shadows of my life and to live fully and openly. I don’t have a big desire for change, but I do have a desire to be more present in my own life and with those around me. A good friend recently sent me a quote from Braveheart: “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” I don’t want that to be my fate, although I’m afraid it has been for far too long. I’ve lived on the sidelines as my life just passed me by. NO MORE! I ran across a great sentiment on someone else’s blog: “The dance of life requires practice daily.” I intend to dance more often …

2. If you were only allowed to have 1 Goal for 2010, what would it be & how can you achieve it? I have lots of goals for 2010, but almost all of them relate to one thing in some way: my creativity. I am truly happiest when I’m painting or writing, so I intend to do both of those more often. I’m not sure how good I am at either one, but both activities bring me joy. Martha Graham says, “Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” So, if I could only have one goal for 2010, it would be to practice my arts.

3. If you had to do 1 New Thing in 2010, what would it be? Will you commit to it now? I’m intrigued by the way the question is worded … “If you had to do 1 New Thing …” I’m coming from the place of I get to do new things, every year! But, if I had to limit it to 1 New Thing, I think I’d start a podcast. I’ve done radio in the past and really enjoyed it. I enjoy talking about art and creativity. I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people, so it seems like a natural next step for me. I still have lots of planning to do before I begin, but I’m slowly working on that. So, yes, I will commit to this now – By the end of 2010, I’ll be doing a regular podcast.

4. If you had to get rid of 1 Thing in 2010, what would it be & why? This one is easy; fear is a major source of dissatisfaction for me, and it’s all internal. Some of it is natural, but some of it borders on being ridiculous to me. Our house was broken into a few months ago, and I occasionally feel a bit of mild anxiety about coming home after I’ve been gone for awhile. That, I think, is natural. But I’m also afraid of my creativity, and that’s less understandable. Aside from my husband, my creativity is what I love most in my life, and yet, sometimes I’m afraid to get started. I’m afraid to try new things, to experiment, to wonder what will happen if I do this, or that. I’m afraid of failure, and I’m afraid of successes that can’t be repeated. Fear is the thing I’d most like to get rid of, because it keeps me from sitting down and doing the work that I believe in so strongly.

5. What have you achieved in 2009? List it all! I’m looking forward to an absolutely incredible year, but 2009 was not all it could have been. My husband and I moved into a new house, in a new town. That one event has taken so much of my emotional energy this year. I’ve been hospitalized twice, for unrelated illnesses. That, too, has taken a great deal of my enthusiasm. On the bright side, though, I took online classes from Julie Prichard and Carmen Torbus, and learned a great deal. I’ve painted more and written more than I have for the past few years. I’ve made some great connections with some truly lovely people and reconnected with some old friends from high school. I’ve set up a studio in our new home, so that creativity is more convenient for me.

Considering at things less tangible (and therefore, easier to overlook), I have grown and matured in 2009. I have learned the value of appreciation and gratitude in my life. I have learned that I like structure, and am working to ease myself in that direction. I have recognized some of my dreams and have begin putting plans in place to realize those dreams.

All-in-all, 2009 may not have been my finest hour, but I’m still excited about 2010!

Thanks to Carmen for posting this on her website. I really enjoyed answering these questions for myself.

1 comment:

Brandi said...

Hi Cindy! I stopped by from 52 Weeks to say hello, and this post caught my eye. What a truly fantastic list for 2010 - As I'm reading it, and your really thoughtful answers, I found myself smiling at your positivity. It is so refreshing. This one line from #4 really struck home for me:

"I'm also afraid of my creativity, and that's less understandable."

This makes perfect sense to me. It's okay to be afraid because the hardest part of the creative process is starting. Questions and ideas are bouncing around your head (I truly know that feeling!), driving you crazy, but my painting professor in college used to tell me: "Sometimes it takes 100 bad paintings to make 1 good one. That doesn't mean the process is less important."

Best of luck to you - can't wait to see how your creativity comes out!!