Don't get me wrong: I don't ever want to lose the thrill of creativity, or the ability to get utterly lost in my process. Quite the contrary! I want to learn to step out my own way, so that those two things can happen more readily. I'm not asking that creativity or expression become "all in a days work", but rather that it become a more playful, more natural, activity.
That's it! I want to learn to play again, both in my art and in my life. I'm way too serious and intense for my own good sometimes! I enjoy my artistic process most of the time, but it feels as though I work too hard at it. I get so hung up about wanting everything I work on to be good enough, that sometimes it's hard to even make a decision as to what to do next. That's why I like taking classes and working through tutorials -- I'm told what to do next.
But it's time that I really integrated all the techniques and tips that I've learned through classes and tutorials and made them a part of my own personal repertoire. It's time I learned to express my own artistic vision.