Happy Again!

I am creatively happy again.

I've been in a slump for a few days. I got my ATCs done for the TheLatestTrendsinMixedMediaArts Halloween Swap, and I even did a quick 4x4 for the Halloween Lottery over at Altered_stArt. I was reasonably happy with both of them (pics to follow, probably this afternoon), but then the joy just went out of creating. Probably partly because my sleep schedule is mixed up, days for nights, and I'm feeling a bit out of sorts in general because of that. Maybe because I've got Halloween ATCs looming over my head for the next swap at Stamp Your Heart Out and I'm not particularly fond of Halloween. Okay, I'm not particularly fond of any of the major holidays these days, but that's another post. And here we have a slew of them coming up, all calling for creations of their own. I just know that all the mingles, swaps, and lotteries coming up will focus on the holidays, and that leaves me feeling blah, just as I've started to getting involved in things like that. Added to all of that is the general discomfort that I'm still feeling from my recent oral surgery.

So, that's probably why I'm in a creative rut. Not to be helped by the fact that I started a piece with someone specific in mind, and more than half-way through it, I realized it wasn't working. I was working on a CD, something I've never done before. I had colored it with alcohol inks and the background was somewhat dark for stamping, which I wanted to do. So, I added some silver mixative to the background, thinking that would lighten it up. It did, but it still isn't light enough for stamping, even with my black Staz-On. I know, because I tried. So, I could go buy some of the Opaque Cotton White Staz-On that I've been wanting and start over, but that thought bores me. And I would have to start over, because I'm no good at stamping over something I've already stamped. Besides, the silver mixative makes the background too light for the white Staz-On ink.

So, why am I happy again? In order to find something to do this evening while I'm not sleeping, I pulled out an old 8 inch square canvas that I have and started painting. Not really painting, as in painting a picture -- I don't do that. Couldn't if my life (or worse yet, my husband's!) depended on it. I started glazing and wiping. I've got four different colors of paint on it right now; three different layers. It's drying while I type, and while I try to decide what to do next. Probably more paint, then some collage. But just messing and playing in the paint has made me creatively happy again.

John asked me at Denny's this evening if I'd ever go back to large surfaces, since I've had so much fun with ATCs. I'm really enjoying this smaller size. The larger sizes intimidate me. I think I've written about this before. Maybe I just don't have the right imagery and ephemera to fill a larger canvas. For whatever reason, I'm happier for the time being working on this smaller scale. I didn't even enjoy the 4x4 as much as the ATCs that were so similar to it.

All of that having been said, I have a 50x58 canvas (or some such size) awaiting me, and I do have some ideas for it. I bought it from the Beryl Larkin Collection at the Redlands Art Association. Seeing the larger works that Beryl did gave me some inspiration. I may have to work out those ideas on some smaller canvases, first. I'm thinking mostly texture and color, no collage work. I would have liked to have studied with her, so I'm going to use this canvas as a kind of study in Beryl Larkin. She did some remarkable work.